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Ten Types of Pasta I Better Be Eating in 2017, Or Else

There will be hell to pay if I don't have my pasta!!!!!

Claire Abramovitz

Jan 03, 2017

Oberlin College & Conservatory

Ten Types of Pasta I Better Be Eating in 2017, Or Else

The Daily Gazette

1. Linguini

Better eat some linguini or I'm gonna get meany.

2. Fusilli

If fusilienough to deny me this pasta, I will scream.

3. Spaghetti

Take away my spaghetti and you'll be upsetti.

4. Ravioli

There will be no point to 2017 if ravioli is not involved.

5. Penne

Penne for my thoughts? I better be eating some darn penne with vodka sauce next year.

6. Farfalle (aka bowtie pasta)

I am bow-tired of not eating this delicious pasta. Only farFOOLes would take away my farfalle.

7. Gnocchi

Life is jokey without precious gnocchi. You better deliver us 2017.

8. Tortellini

Life will be more like torture-lini if I don't have any tortellini in the coming year.

9. Lasagna

Garfield and I will start a protest against the pasta establishment if we don't have any of that sweet sweet lasagna.

10. Macaroni (specifically with cheese)

Macaroni and please for the love of all that is pasta, I macaro-need this dish in my life. I will seek vengeance if it is not provided.

Happy New Year, unless I don't get my pasta!!!!!!!!!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Ten Types of Pasta I Better Be Eating in 2017, Or Else

There will be hell to pay if I don't have my pasta!!!!!

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No matter how old you are.

1. Build a snowman

2. Start a snowball fight

3. Build a fort

4. Binge-watch Netflix

4. Look out the window

5. Grab coffee with a friend

6. Complete school or office work

7. Sleep

8. Read a book

9. Bake cookies

10. Drink hot cocoa

11. Go ice skating

12. Take a Walk

"I don't want to do things. I want to not do things."

1. When you look at the syllabus and realize there are only three weeks of the semester left; even though the first day was LITERALLY yesterday.

2. You look at your grades and realize they probably aren't as high as they should be, which is a terrifying realization.

3. When you think to yourself at night, "tomorrow, I will wake up early and go to the library ALL day, and, hell, maybe after I'll go to the gym for a little bit, just to push myself that extra mile."

4. Tomorrow actually comes. The inevitable and overpowering sense of procrastination is too strong to overcome.

5. But you DO end up going to the library. Not all day though, but still, a while. But no, you do not go to the gym. Still, you made an effort, so you decide to treat yo' self.

6. When you realize you need to schedule a meeting with your adviser because you need to sign up for classes next semester. But you also realize that since you waited until the last minute, you're going to get stuck with all of the crappy classes.

7. When you low-key try to slip into conversation with your professors that you need extra credit because you're that desperate.

8. When it's already the third time you've seen your adviser in two days because you have no damn clue what you're doing and need all the help you can get.

9. When you apply for a job associated with your major even though you have no experience, but you just want to dive headfirst into the deep end of adulthood and get it over with.

The world is not always sunshine and rainbows, and you do not have to be, either.

It would be so much easier to just pay someone to do it for you

1. Figuring out when to start

2. Searching through list after list to get everything you need

3. Shopping for deals

4. Getting bins to put everything in

5. Figuring what you can’t live without

6. Going through clothes to find what you need

7. Finding out your siblings took something from you

8. Fighting with your parents.

9. Trying to plan things with your roommate

10. The fear of forgetting something

11. Move in day

Relatable moments from one of the best shows I have ever watched.

1. When you fail that midterm you studied so hard for.

2. When your crush finally texts back.

3. When payday comes around.

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5. When someone takes your unassigned assigned seat.

6. When your favorite character in your favorite TV series dies.

7. When that guy/girl you’ve been crushing on agrees to go on a date with you.

8. When you have so much to do, and such little motivation to do it.

9. When someone asks for your last fry.

10. When you try a new health-food craze.

11. When you get new clothing.

12. When you check your bank account.

13. When they're serving good food in the dining hall.

14. When someone tries to tell you what to do.

15. Or just your thoughts about life in general.

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