Nursing school is weird. It's like it has flown by but has lasted for an eternity all at once. It's Christmas break and my last semester is about to begin. My mind is already constantly spinning about what I need to prepare myself for and what I'm unsure about. Here are a few thoughts that are continually entering and leaving my mind as I contemplate over it all:

1. How am I even still standing after last semester?

Med Surge II and Maternal Health/Pediatrics all in one semester plus clinical hours for both plus other classes on top of that... it nearly whooped my tail. But I somehow made it through, and props to everyone who has also, because it is the hardest semester we will see I think- but hey, we have one more so who knows what lies around the corner.

2. Precepting sounds scary.

We're going to work real-life 12-hour shifts with real-life nurses at real-life hospitals with real-life patients. Just let that sink in. This is going to be the times that we really have to apply our knowledge and put ourselves out there, because most preceptors aren't going to baby us. They have their own work to do. I just pray that God sends me a good one that I'm able to work with well, and that my experiences uplift me rather than defeat me. We get to work with patients without being scared for our every move because we're always being watched like hawks by instructors! We don't have to worry about grades while we're there, we just get to gain experience. It's scary and exciting all at once.

3. I get to take yet another Med Surge course. Yay.

This class is something else, and it's like I can't escape it. I've always had the hardest time with this course, the tests are just tough because we learn so much material in just one week. Maybe I'll just get better with it each time I take it.

4. Am I even ready and equipped to be an RN in less than a year?

It's getting real, y'all. We are one semester away from reaching that goal of having those two letters behind our names. But part of me is like, am I really ready for this? If you threw me out on a floor by myself today and told me to take care of some patients, I'd probably have a nervous breakdown. But we learn a lot in one semester so I'm praying that I'll feel some confidence after this one.

5. HESI is the Goliath of all tests... and I'm about to have to take him on.

This guy has put some past students through some stuff. The difficulty level is really high on this one. There's not much to say about it, just that passing nursing school in full, rides on this exam. I just pray that I can be David in this situation.

6. Clinicals, clinicals, and more clinicals.

It's basically just going to be me in my white uniform for the next few months. And that's okay because I learn a lot in the clinical setting, but all the paperwork is something serious. It's so hard to find the time to study with all of that in the way! But I've done it before, I can do it again.

7. I feel like I've forgotten everything over Christmas Break. Ummm, yeah, not good.

It's so easy to lose track of what you do know and what you don't know, because we have to learn it all so quickly. A lot of nurses I know say that nursing school is just a foundation and we really begin building upon our knowledge when we get out in the field as nurses. I sure hope this is true!

8. I don't think I can read anymore.

I feel like all I've done is read these past two years. I feel so burnt out but I have to keep pushing through. I just have to think about all of the patients facing the illnesses that I'm reading about and how I'm going to be able to apply it, be helpful, and impact some lives.

9. And I'm supposed to be studying for the N-CLEX in the midst of all the commotion?

On top of all of this, I'm supposed to be reading review books and answering hundreds of review questions a week. That's a hard pill to swallow when time is so limited. I guess it's just time to buckle down and get to it.

10. All worries and doubts and fears aside, God is going to bring me through this.

I continuously tell myself, "God did not bring me this far to leave me." I'm trusting in Him to bring me through all of this. All of the anxieties above may creep into my head, but I have to shut them out and tell myself that it is already finished. God has already made the way, I just have to walk in it diligently and give Him the glory as it is due to Him. Without Jesus as my sanity, I wouldn't have been able to accomplish all that I have and all that I will.