It's easy to forget how to take care of yourself or even take a step back to reflect on where you are in life and how you're handling everything. Between working, school, and having a social life, there are many different problems that can arise. Although the problems can stress you out they also offer you important lessons to take away. Here are 10 lessons that I've learned from my experiences. Hopefully they help you as much as they have helped me.
1. It's okay to let go of people you care about if they are causing you pain.
I think this is a hard one for people to actually listen to. There's a split between the masses about what do when dealing with a problematic person in your life; some say that you don't give up on the ones you love, while others say that holding on can cause more damage. In my personal opinion, I think there is only so many times that you can keep going back for more. At some point you have to say enough is enough. However, every situation is different. Judge where you are at with whatever relationship it is and do what's best for you. Looking out for yourself is important.
2. Roll with the punches, don't throw more.
You've probably heard the saying, "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade." Although it may be another cliche quote, it holds a lot of truth. In life there are going to be many different obstacles that you have to cross in order to advance in life. Nowadays, I see people give up on their dreams/goals because of frustration. Instead, try taking a step back and a deep breath to view the situation in a different light. Being able to get creative and solve problems will only help you in the long run with jobs, relationships, etc.
3. It's okay to be "weak".
I'm not sure why the mentality for any person is that in order to be considered strong you have to not show any signs of weakness whether it be breaking down, asking for help, or anything else of the sort. Being strong should mean being able to feel everything and still get up and live every day to the fullest. Go ahead and cry, it's healthy. If you're struggling asking for support makes you the bigger person. By telling yourself this over and over again you will redefine the way you think.
4. Admit to your mistakes.
No one is perfect, we all make bad decisions and say things that we don't mean. What makes it worse is denying that you did damage in the first place or trying to throw blame back at the person you hurt. It's also part of growing up; taking responsibility for your actions is a sign of maturation. If the damage is done and the other person/people involved don't want to move forward with you, that is their decision. By at least acknowledging that you made a mistake, it will bring closure for everyone and you can say that you tried.
5. People come and go, don't beg for them to stay.
It's inevitable, people will leave in your life. Whether it's physically leaving town or by choice of just not associating with you anymore, it happens. That's okay and on the flip side, there will be new people who come into your life. You need to learn to be okay with that; grieve or rejoice, whatever you need to do to process these two events. Begging for someone to stay in your life will only make the loss that much more painful. Hold your head up high and move forward.
6. You have a voice, use it.
If you are unhappy with something in your life then you need to speak up about it. You have that right to stand up for what you want and take control of your life. Most of the time people are afraid of what the consequences might be and that is what will always hold you back. There is a right way about speaking up; calmly present what it is you are unhappy with to whoever you need to talk to and then listen to what they have to say. You may not get a complete change right away, but putting yourself out there opens up a whole new realm of possibilities.
7. Do your own thing, don't be a lemming.
Lemmings, you know those animals that literally will follow each other everywhere even if that means over a cliff. Don't be a lemming, stand apart from the crowd. Try new things, talk to different people, that sort of stuff. Who knows you could discover a new hobby that you really like or make a new best friend you're inseparable from.
8. Take care of yourself, even just for a day.
Self-care is so important and it doesn't even need to be anything super extravagant. Whatever is most calming to you is what you should focus on doing. Set aside an afternoon to go shopping, read a book, get your nails done, etc. It will bring your stress levels down which in turn then makes everything in life seem more bearable. You should generally try to have self-care days at least once a month so you get a break from the hectic everyday routine.
9. You can't save everyone.
This is one of the hardest lessons to keep with you, especially if you're like me and you don't want to stop helping anyone. This is one of those lessons that takes years to get engraved into your mind, after multiple disappointments and heartbreaks after realizing too late. It's just a fact; sometimes the person in need of help is the only ones who can pull themselves up. The most important part to remember is that you can't blame yourself if you couldn't help them.
10. Never give up.
This is the most important lesson to me. No matter how far you fall, how far out of reach your goal seems to be, you should never ever give up. You are working towards something, whether it's to better yourself or just because it makes you happy. The main thing is that you are doing it for you and you never give up on yourself.
