In many ways, college was entirely what I expected it to be. Challenging courses, difficult professors, independence, readily available alcohol, friends turning into family, and going to bed way too late only to wake up entirely too early. What I didn’t expect college to be however, were perhaps the parts that have effected me the most. Shared below, are the ideas of a university that I have acquired, adapted, or observed during my first ten weeks in college.

1.You do not always get the grade you work for.

Now, this does not mean that you should not bother putting effort into your assignments and studying. However, no matter how much effort you put into your schoolwork, there is always a chance you will encounter something completely unexpected or draw a blank on the easiest question on the test, or perhaps even do the assignment you slaved over all night long, completely wrong. Although grades do to some degree define your future, for me especially as I aspire towards medical school, they are not the ultimatum.

2. “Adulting” comes easier to some than it does to others, have patience.

I am still flabbergasted that some of my schoolmates are unaware of some of the simplest ways the world works. I often find myself demonstrating one of my strongest personality flaws as I pulse with frustration with every example of this. With some resentment, I take a step back and remind myself that everyone has different priorities and learns things at all different points of their lives. Still, how do you not know that a green turn arrow means GO or that washing dishes involves soap and not just water?

3. If a professor holds office hours, you should probably attend, if nothing else to be able to say you did.

While I am a very sincere advocate against kissing up to my authorities, office hours can provide so much more than making yourself look like a dedicated, concerned, and interested student. Office hours allow for professors to spend one-on-one time with you, as both a student and an individual. This time is invaluable to soak up the knowledge and stories your professors have to offer, even if you still don’t understand what you originally came inquiring about.

4. No one cares about your high school.

No exaggeration here, literally no one cares about your high school. While this equal parts terrified and aggravated me as I realized I was boring my classmates while droning on about my prestigious college preparatory academy, I actually found comfort in the fact that no one cared where I came from. In high school I was bound to so many identities that I was unable to escape from, but in college, especially at a school where I do not know a single individual from my “past life,” I am free to recreate myself to be whomever I wish. I am still a little terrified by this freedom, but I am learning to love being able to decide who I am going to be, as well as to not hold myself to a single identity.

5. Calling mom and dad every once and awhile can be the best medicine available.

Being an only child, my parents and I shared a unique relationship which stemmed from me holding every ounce of their parental attention. My leaving the nest has been, in many ways, harder for my parents than it has been for me. Since I care about my parents so dearly, watching my growth and change inflict difficulty on them has been less than comforting. While change is incredibly exhilarating, it is also quite scary. It is easy for the fear of change and letting go of what once used to be to take over. For me, calling home and talking to my parents has given me the reassurance that although things in my life are changing, some things will always stay the same, like my parents’ love and the closeness of our relationship.

6. Speaking of letting go, people may come and go from your life, even the ones you thought would always be there.

I was absolutely mortified when my best friend since the third grade and I, who have been attached to the hip ever since then, were able to go a week without so much as a text sent to the other. To my horror, I saw this pattern with a lot of the individuals that I would have never thought twice about growing apart from. Relationships change, it is completely normal and healthy.

7. Communal restrooms show people’s true character.

Honestly, as much as I grimaced at the idea of sharing such a personal space with a whole hall of other people, I tried to stay as optimistic as possible, comforting myself in the savings in money on toilet paper, and not having to clean. Turns out, if a university wanted to run a personality experiment on individuals they would not have to look any farther than the communal restrooms. That girl down the hall who was nice enough to lend you some paper plates and have a friendly conversation, won’t even think twice about leaving her hair and toothpaste spread across the sink. Sharing a space as small and personal as a bathroom with a community shows you the variety in values in the people you are living with.

8. You may end up absolutely hating something you thought for certain you would love.

Turns out, that when you enter college, you have several presumptions about what you will like or dislike. For me in particular this happened with my courses. The courses that I thought I would dread have actually turned out to be some of my favorites. On the other hand, some of the ones I was most excited about cannot hit semester soon enough. Presumptions are normal, but don’t let them rule your judgments later on down the road.

9. Busy work is not so much aggravating as it is insulting.

No one likes to not be taken seriously. One of the most frustrating parts of school for me is when I am not taken seriously as a student. Part of why I chose to attend the university I did was due to the respect the professors seemed to have for their students. While I can say that in the majority of my classes I have received respect from my professors which demonstrated that they value me as a student, there are still some classes where I do have those dreaded busy work assignments. These assignments are to some degree insulting to me as a student, as I feel that I am not being taken seriously.

10. Go ahead, bite the bullet and read the feedback on that test, paper or quiz, especially if you did poorly.

Negative feedback is always sort of uncomfortable. However, sometimes venturing away from comfort is where we can prosper the most. So when you get a test, quiz, or paper back and have the feeling of dread in your stomach that causes you to desire to burn or shred that piece of paper, resist the urge and read whatever feedback is on it. This feedback is invaluable, and even if it isn’t that helpful and doesn’t give you insight as to how to do better, you can always proceed to attend office hours about any questions you have.

The ideas of a university that I have acquired, adapted, and observed, are more valuable to me than any of the ideas I expected to have or already had. Sometimes there lies greater depth in areas of the university that are as simple as a communal background, or as complex as the relationships you have with your professors or peers.