Being an introvert in a busy and bustling world is far from easy.
While your fellow extroverts are living for parties and group discussions at work, you’d much rather spend a night in or tackle your business alone. Not because you’re shy or anti-social, you’re just introverted. Socialization can be draining and you need some alone time to recharge. That’s all it is.
There’s a common misconception that introverts are loners while extroverts are normal, functioning human beings. They flow with society. Group projects and making friends is no problem. They’re social and love talking to new people. This is what we should all strive for, right?
It’s a little unfair that this world caters towards extroverts, but that’s a whole other topic. Introverts exist, myself included, and we shouldn’t be ashamed of it. It’s easy to feel alone when you’re surrounded by outgoing people, but I’m here to tell you you’re not. About 50% of the United States alone is introverted. There’s actually so many of us!
So, if you’re feeling a little down or others are making you feel inadequate for your introversion, don’t fret. I get it. I’ve thrown together a few things and scenarios that I know all of us can agree on. It’s a part of us, so we might as well embrace it. Let’s dive in.
1) If texting over calling is an option in any scenario, you’re ecstatic.
I feel you guys big time on this one. If I need to reach someone, I will wait for them to answer my text as long as humanly possible before I give them a call.
Phone calls are unpredictable. You have no time to prepare your thoughts like you would over text. If someone springs a question you weren’t expecting or asks to hang out when you truly want some alone time, you’re in an awkward position. The anxiety behind phone calls tends to be amplified for introverts.
2) You live for going out alone.
Whether it be to the movies, dinner, or the mall, you have no problem going on your own. You actually prefer it.
There’s no social tension about wondering if your friends are enjoying a movie or if they’re bored cause you’re spending too long in a certain store. You’re alone. You have all the power.
You can go wherever you want, for as long as you want, and best of all – you can go home at any time.
3) Nothing quite compares to the feeling of coming home after a long day of socialization.
Especially when you stay the night somewhere else; even if it’s your boyfriend or best friend’s house.
That doesn’t mean you love them any less. You can’t control how your energy levels work. Even a few hours with others can be enough social stigma to send an introvert into hiding.
Our minds need our sacred space to relax and unwind after all we just put it through. The social event or people you were with may have been great, but alone time is crucial for introverts to stay sane.
4) Sometimes, you can go through an entire conversation with a group of people and come to realize, you haven’t said a word.
Introverts are insanely good listeners. It’s what they’re known for.
Instead of being involved in the conversation, they tend to observe it. They’re so caught up in what is being said that speaking doesn’t even cross their mind. It may come across as stuck up or stand-offish to others, but that’s not the intent at all. They honestly may just forget to speak.
5) You can pick up on awkward moments – even if you don’t cause them.
Since they are always observing, introverts tend to be really in tune with social cues. Picking up on the energy of a conversation is almost second nature. They’re incredibly skilled in reading body language.
If someone feels awkward, uncomfortable, angry, or even sad in a scenario, you bet the first person who will address it is an introvert (privately, of course.)
6) You do everything in your power to avoid small talk.
I’m convinced small talk will be the death of me.
I don’t care about the weather or answering “good” when I’m not; and no, I don’t want to talk about college or career paths.
Introverts tend to brush off this kind of conversation when it comes up, but on top of that, they’ll avoid situations where it could occur.
Let’s say there’s someone at the condiment station at a coffee shop or a person in a store aisle you want to go down. You’ll wait it out until they leave to avoid any kind of interaction.
That’s also why spending a few minutes alone with someone you don’t know too well can be uncomfortable. A few minutes isn’t enough time to really get to know someone, so you know you’re bound to small talk when that occurs.
Small talk and introversion do not mix, so you try to shut it down before it can even begin.
7) You secretly like if people find you a little off – more alone time.
While you still want friends, a significant other, and all that good stuff, sometimes you like it if people are taken back by you.
They leave you alone and you don’t have to come up with excuses as to why you can’t hang out. There’s no one to give an excuse to. You can be with yourself and not feel guilty about it.
8) You tend to enjoy after parties more than the actual event.
There’s so much pressure around social events. You need to look your best, mingle all night, and you’re under the impression you’re supposed to be having a great time no matter what.
The after parties are when things get more intimate. The heels come off your blistered feet. The makeup is smudged, but still in tact. Men take off their ties and loosen their belts.
Introverts live for making deep connections with small groups of people and after parties provide the perfect environment. They may have a difficult time coming out of their shell at an event, but once the lights are off, you can truly get to know an introvert.
9) You’ve been told you’re mature for your age or an “old soul” for as long as you can remember.
A young introvert’s lifestyle can be much difficult than what is expected of them.
Most young adults are presumed to be out with friends or going to parties, but for an introvert, that tends to be a rare occurrence. Sure, they can enjoy the occasional party or drinks with friends, but that’s not their normal scene.
You’re much more likely to find an introvert at home watching Netflix, writing, reading, or expressing themselves in another way.
Mind you, not in a pretentious way at all. There’s no judgment for those who go out all the time. Extroverts live for being out and that’s awesome. Introverts just need extra time to be with themselves, that’s all.
Parents of introverts may become worried that their children aren’t living their lives to the fullest. Trust me, they’re completely fine. They don’t need to be doing what everyone else their age is to be having a good time.
10) You’re a good judge of what social situations are worth indulging in and those that aren’t.
Introverts don’t hate social interaction, they truly don’t.
They’re just wise about where they spend their time.
As an introvert, you’re always listening to your inner monologue. You’re incredibly in tune with who you are and what you like. So, if a party comes up that you know would make you miserable, you won’t go.
Not because you’re anti-social or rude, actually the exact opposite.
You feel it would be a waste of everyone’s time if you go to something that your heart isn’t in. You’d feel like a downer and in turn, bring everyone else down. By not going, you avoid this altogether.
Granted, introverts, myself included, should still take chances at times. It’s hard to know if a situation isn’t right for you if you’re constantly turning opportunities down. So, go with your gut, but also recognize when you’re blatantly ignoring trying anything at all.
Being introverted is actually a pretty cool thing.
Spending time alone is when you can truly discover who you are in a way that others can’t bring out of you. Introverts have it easy in the sense that they don’t neglect themselves when they need self-care. Alone time is crucial, so they’re always taken care of.
If you gain anything from this, know that the stereotypes around introverts is only a stigma.
The scale of introversion and extraversion is all about where you get your energy. It’s that simple. One type isn’t more stuck-up, boring, loud, quiet, or bitter than another.
Don’t base your opinion of someone on if they’re introverted or extroverted. That’s only a small fraction of who they are. These parts of us exist so we find other people who can relate to the same things we do. Introverts can praise alone time just as extroverts can enjoy going out and being with other extroverts.
It’s all relative. We’re all human. We’ve got our share of differences, sure, but when it comes down it, we’re all truly one in the same.
