Thanksgiving often marks the beginning of the holiday season, where we:

1. Sit across from relatives that provide us with soap-opera worthy entertainment

2. Eat delicious food that will lead to us gaining five to 10 pounds

3. Consume enough alcohol to make repetitive questions about what we’re doing with our lives more bearable

4. Listen to holiday tunes that will be stuck in our heads until Valentine’s (or Single’s Awareness) Day

5. Watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, betting on which giant balloon will almost fly away (or be possessed by a ghost for all you Ghostbusters fans out there)

6. Completely ignore the fact that this holiday did not come from a peaceful union between the “Pilgrims & Indians,” but rather from a group of white supremacists who loved to celebrate all the “savages” they slaughtered

7. Loathe after the fact that we inhaled more food in a few hours than we often do in a week

8. As a female, silently cuss out all the men who are too backwards to give us a hand in the kitchen and still have the nerve to ask when the food will be ready

9. Start thinking about putting up Christmas decorations, while simultaneously cursing to ourselves about finding the money and time for presents

10. Have that one warm and fuzzy moment where we are all so happy to be together, that we forget about everything else