"Girls don't go for nice guys."
Welcome, my dear pupils, to this week's educational seminar on a very serious disease that is sweeping through younger generations — typically, in homo sapiens that possess Y chromosomes. N.G.S. usually develops in males in their late teenage years, but there are reports of it occurring in boys as young as 12 all the way to men in their 20s. Hopefully, by bringing awareness to this disease, we can work together towards a cure for Nice Guy Syndrome.
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Here are 10 signs to look for in either yourself or a loved one that may be experiencing Nice Guy Syndrome.
1. You feel the need to express how nice you are... constantly.
One major hint that you're not as nice as you claim is when you have to elaborate how nice you are to people. Saying "I'm a nice guy" does not excuse acting like an entitled prick.
Nice people don't have to tell you they're nice — they show it through their actions. I know that seems like a foreign concept to some of you 'nice guys' out there, but you can be a good person person without telling everyone and your neighbor's cat about how great you are.
2. "No once cares about me."
If that quote leaves your mouth constantly and not in an "I seriously have no one in the world" kind of context, then you might have N.G.S.
The worst part about this symptom is that some people genuinely experience this type of feeling of being unwanted and unloved whereas sufferers of N.G.S. just use it as a ploy to get girl's to express interest in them.
For starters, it's not interest. It is concern and, often, pity.
The other twisted thing about using this to get a girl to show that she cares about you is that it seems like the kind of screwed up thing that a sociopath would say to guilt trip their significant other into staying.
Please, don't be that guy. If you do have this problem, seek out help. Send me an e-mail. I care about you!
3. No one understands you.
You are really in touch with your emo phase, I assume. No one understands you and the color black matches your heart. That's cute.
Except, you seem to be implying that no one is putting forth any effort to understand you. This is a 'clever' ploy for getting girls to think you're mysterious when you might actually just be boring.
I'm of the opinion that boring people only exist when they trade their personality in for Axe cologne and negativity.
Often, when approached, N.G.S. sufferers will state that no one understands them but proceed to not expand further on that statement.
4. You want people to think you have low self-esteem.
Why do people want this? Some people actually have low self-esteems. Vocally claiming to have one- especially to that girl that you have a thing for but hasn't been showing interest- is another sign that you might have N.G.S.
For one thing, this is a weird way of fishing for compliments. It's like when I tell my fish that I can't get my hair to sit right. I really just want him to tell me I look pretty. Sadly, he's a fish and my hair will never go where I tell it to.
5. Attention Seeking Behavior
This symptom usually comes hand in hand with the second and third symptoms listed above. Men with N.G.S. often feel the need to tell people how bad their life is and how ugly they feel even if their life is perfectly fine and they're attractive. It's an interesting strategy for getting people to notice you and, in the mind of someone with N.G.S., it's a way of getting someone to like you.
No one likes you because you think your life is terrible. If someone is going to like you, they will like you for your personality. Otherwise, they aren't really someone you should be dating. The last thing you should want is a 'pity date'. By the way, anyone who does step forward to comfort you is not then obligated to go on a date with you.
6. You expect your feelings to be reciprocated.
Not every girl or guy you like is going to like you back. It's hard to believe, I know, but you are not the one and only in that person's life. Sometimes, they're not even interested in dating at all. You're not entitled to that person just because you like them.
7. You are an avid believer that girls stick you in the 'friend zone.'
The friend zone is a personal pet peeve of mine.
No. One. Is. Obligated. To. Develop. Romantic. Feelings. Or. Sexual. Attraction. Just. Because. You're. Nice. To. Them.
Life is not some romantic comedy where the girl just 'doesn't get how great you are' and ends up with some asshole before realizing that you were the one she was meant to be with all along.
Maybe your friend does end up liking you back, but it is just as likely that they could value your friendship. If you think there is something wrong with being someone's friend rather than finding a way into their pants, I'm not sure that the 'friend zone' is your biggest problem.
8. You're actually a jerk.
You play the "I'm a nice guy." card so often, people actually start to believe it even if you really aren't.
For example, I know a guy that always talks about how nice he tries to be, but he's usually talking in reference towards his behavior towards girls he wants to make out with. He's actually outright cruel to his friends and doesn't seem interested in actually 'being there' for anyone that he doesn't think he stands a chance with. Nothing about him is nice and I am not sure who convinced him otherwise.
9. Memory Problems
Fun thing about nice guys like you is that you don't seem to recall anything a girl (or guy, if you swing that way) says outside of anything that might mean they like you.
Despite a girl repeatedly telling you a story or an issue she has with one of your close friends, you're not likely to remember that she said it by the next time you speak- especially if it isn't something you want to hear. However, if she says you look cute one day you will remember that for the rest of your extremely unhealthy friendship.
10. Passive Aggressive.
When the girl expresses interest in another guy, you tend to make snide comments like "Oh, have you tapped that yet?"
The girl doesn't like you, so you must make it appear that she sleeps around because lowering her reputation makes it look like you won something. Funny thing is, she can sleep with who she wants and it does not make her any less.
"She's such a tease."
You like to tell your guy friends about how she "lead you on" even if she was quite vocal about her disinterest in anything outside of a platonic relationship or never directly insinuated that she held interest in dating you.
Somehow, you will make her out to be the bad guy in this situation.
You go from her nice guy friend to that guy that makes snide comments and she doesn't even know what she did to earn your scorn, more than likely.
In conclusion, if you feel like these symptoms apply to you, there is help out there. The first step is admitting that you're not a nice guy and that there are things you, personally, need to work on.
