1. You don’t drink/do drugs

Drugs? Never heard of them. Your parents clearly know you do stupid shit in college, they only care that you're safe while doing them. They would prefer you don’t do them, but because college is so stressful, we have no intention of actually harming our bodies. We simply just want to relieve the stress through recreational drugs.

2. You're getting good grades

I only have one A, two BCs and one C, and I dropped a math class. So, I should end up around a 2.5ish. I think that’s a fair grade, don’t you think? I mean Cs get degrees.

3. You still clean your room

Hell no. I'm lazy as shit.

4. You’re not broke

Cardboard boxes seems like a fine place to raise a family.

5. You have your future all planned out

Being a stripper doesn’t sound too bad.

6. You miss your parents the most about being home

It clearly is your dog or any pet, and if you don’t have a pet then it’s your bed. I love my parents, don’t get me wrong and I know you do, too. But c’mon, our dogs and beds are more important. They understand us better than our parents anyways so it’s only fair.

7. You tell them that you gave their change back in their wallet when you clearly pocketed it

Shh. I will cut you if you rat me out.

8. You're not sexually active

Haha yeah good one, I’ve never seen breasts either...

9. You found a healthy hobby, sleeping off that hangover

I love bed. Bed loves me.

10. You’re not addicted to caffeine or anything addictingSo the next time you go home for the holidays, just remember that you're parents went through this shit too or something similar. It is to the benefit of the college student to acknowledge their parents pestering questions, and answer them in the safest way possible. So this holiday season, why be on the naughty list when you can simply alter your response to put you on the good one. We're not lying, we're just fixing our stance so that we can get some presents this Christmas.