Until I saw a commercial for a "Teen Titans Go!" movie the question that was weighing on my mind was this:
Why did Cartoon Network make a lame-o reboot of their acclaimed "Teen Titans" show from the mid-2000's?
The original "Teen Titans" show on Cartoon Network was one of the earliest kinds of shows that got me into the comic-book adaptation genre: compelling storylines, dramatic character arcs, villains who just couldn't be killed no matter how hard the heroes tried.
It wasn't a show that I watched religiously, but it was a good cartoon I admired a lot for its quality content and maturity (although to be honest, it's probably not as good as I remember it through rose-colored glasses).
So when I happen to flick through the TV channels a couple years ago, to my horror I saw something on Cartoon Network that I couldn't unsee: A dumbed down and cotton candy abomination of the "Teen Titans" I grew up with. This show wasn't the "Teen Titans," it was some weird and highly energetic kids show.
As a fan of comic book adaptations, I know that characters and franchises are often rebooted or retold in new and refreshing ways. A character like Batman has evolved from the glorious camp of the 60's Adam West TV show to the pulpy and noir style of the Tim Burton films and the "Animated Series" to the intense realism of comics like "The Dark Knight Returns" and Christopher Nolan's "Dark Knight" film trilogy.
Without digressing, some will tell me that I shouldn't be this mad at "Teen Titans" for going into this new direction because all superheroes go through the same evolution. My only problem with that in the "Teen Titans" case is that Cartoon Network decided to take a step backward with the franchise. They want to introduce the franchise to a new generation of kids while taking away all of the drama and story that my generation grew up on. In this age of the internet where the original series can be seen on any phone, laptop, or TV, do you think the kids you're catering to are not gonna go and find the original we inevitably compare it to?
Every kid who watches the show will know about the original while their older brother or sister complain at how much lamer it is in comparison.
The only scene I've seen that I liked from "Teens Titans Go!" was when they actually made fun of themselves and compared themselves to the far-superior original:
But you know why it burns my briskets that they made a "Teen Titans Go!" movie? Because out of all the great Cartoon Network shows the movie industry could've picked to make a film out of, they picked the worst show possible.
Not incredible, groundbreaking, breathtaking works of art that defined a generation like "Adventure Time," "Steven Universe," "We Bare Bears," or "Regular Show," but freakin' "TEEN TITANS GO!"
I know why they did it, it was an easy cash grab that also gave the opportunity to feature cartoon-y versions of big name DC superheroes like Batman and Superman. But come on Hollywood, there's a reason no one likes your cesspool industry of hypocrites who make cheaply manufactured movies solely to get your oily hands on our money! You had a chance to use the money you used for "Teen Titans Go!" On something true and real and you blew it!
But who knows, maybe if I give the movie a chance I'll find a clever, self-aware parody of superhero flicks like the "Lego-Batman" movie.
Or maybe I'm just getting too old for cartoons and movies that are made for kids.
Maybe I should...grow up…?
Nahhh, I'll just rewatch "BoJack Horseman" and "Rick and Morty."
