There are certain questions that adults always want to ask younger adults. And the younger adults always want to run the other way screaming. What is your major? What do you want to do when you graduate college? When are you going to get married? Why do we need to answer you right now? We are comfortable just sipping our tea and pretending that we don’t have to think about our future. But I think the question that I have a definitive answer to and that gets a lot of stern judgment from older people when they hear my answer is “Do you want kids?” The answer is no.

You may be thinking, “What?! A female that doesn’t want to marry and immediately pop out a few kids? That is unnatural.” Or maybe you’re thinking, “Oh you say that now, but just wait a couple of years.” I know you can’t help it, but please turn off the misogynistic part of your brain that has been discreetly placed upon you by society. My answer is a definite no now and my answer will be no even in a few years when I reach the age when a proper lady is supposed to be thinking about having kids.

There are lots of reasons to have kids, like the responsibility of taking care of another human. But for me, there are lots of reasons not to have kids, like the responsibility of taking care of another human. Don’t get me wrong, kids can be great. They are the future of America. But there are things in this life that I want to do. Things that can’t happen if I have a child to take care of. It is a preference. I am free to choose what I want to do in my life, especially what I want to do with my body. You can’t tell me to choose my path and then judge me for not choosing the one most people take.

There is another reason why I don’t want kids. However, I should rephrase that. I don’t want my own kids. I know the feeling of being pregnant is supposed to be magical or whatever, and there is “nothing like” baring a child of your own flesh and blood. But why does loving a child mean it has to be your own? My philosophy is that if I miraculously decide I want to have children, I am going to adopt. I never want to bring a privileged child into this world when there are hundreds of thousands of children that need families. The system in America is broken. Anyone with eyes can see that. I know I am only one person, but maybe one day I could make a difference in a child’s life.

I should apologize to my mother. She wants grandkids, but she’s going to have to rely on my sister for that one. Simply put, there are people who want the family life and there are people that don’t. I don’t want to be scoffed at or looked over just because I don’t want to bare my own children. I hope you understand. There are just way too many things I want to see and places I want to go that I don’t think I will have enough time. I may not want my own kids, but you better believe I am going to love my future nieces and nephews to death.