A nation is a group of people that share the same culture, history, language, and identity that live within a certain territory; this territory may or may not be a state. If this group of people that are known as a nation have a sovereign governing body, they are a nation-state; however, if they do not have a sovereign, self-governing body, they are a stateless-nation. I preface this article with these definitions and distinctions of what a nation and state, or country are in order to as accurately as possible describe my identity. Who I am and how I identify myself in this world of ours. This is my identity crisis.

I was born in San Juan, Puerto Rico. Puerto Rico is a small archipelago in the Caribbean, east of the Dominican Republic. Puerto Rico has been a colony since the day the Spanish conquistadors landed on its shores in 1493. For 405 years, Puerto Rico was under Spanish rule until the Spanish-Cuban-American War in 1898, which is when the United States invaded the island. Since the day the Americans landed on its shores, Puerto Rico has been under U.S. colonial rule and Puerto Rico immediately begins to experience a wave of policies placed by the U.S. intended to assimilate all Puerto Ricans with the American way of life. Puerto Rico lived through American military government from 1898 to 1900 until the Foraker Act placed a civil government led by American governor appointed by the President of the United States. In 1917, the United States imposed U.S. citizenship on Puerto Ricans right in the brink of U.S. involvement in World War I. Puerto Rican identity had been long oppressed by the U.S. for most of the island's history of relations with the U.S. To this day, Puerto Rico still falls under the Territory Clause of the U.S. Constitution, which gives the U.S. Congress full control over Puerto Rican affairs, regardless of the wishes of the Puerto Rican government, which was established in 1952 when the Estado Libre Asociado, or, in its horribly translated term, Commonwealth of Puerto Rico.

Fast forward to San Juan, Puerto Rico in 1994, the year I was born. By the time I was born, Puerto Rico had long suffered through almost a century of American imperialistic policies and has assimilated, for the most part, to American ways of life and has developed a colonial mind-set, similar to that of Stockholm Syndrome. I was born to a wonderful family with an English teacher as my mother, an officer in the U.S. Army as a father, and a three year old big brother. I was raised in the municipality of Bayamón and spent a lot of time in the neighboring Guaynabo City as well. As a child, I would watch many American television shows and movies such as Barney & Friends, Winnie the Pooh, Teletubbies, etc. When I reached age to begin Kindergarten, I was enrolled in Baldwin School, a primarily English speaking private school, located just a couple of blocks from my home, until the 8th grade. My time in Baldwin School was precious and I developed some amazing friendships with the children of well known Puerto Rican elites and of American businessmen living in Puerto Rico.

Due to economic reasons, the decision was made for me to switch schools to the American Military Academy, a neighboring private school where my mother is a second grade teacher at as well. In the American Military Academy, I was enrolled in many extra-curricular activities, the most important of which was the U.S. Army Junior ROTC program. At this school, I was exposed to more middle-class Puerto Rican families, in contrast to my previous school which was filled with children of Puerto Rican elite and American businessmen. Throughout my childhood and teenage years, I was exposed to a plethora of American-ness and very little Puerto Rican-ness. I spoke both Spanish and English and I knew the basics about my racial and ethnic background, but I knew very little of my country's history, our national figures, and had very little exposure to my Latin American roots other than my language and a shared racial background that consists of Spanish, Taíno indigenous, and African blood. Throughout my education, I was bombarded with images of George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King Jr, and other American historical figures, but only with ONE year of in-depth Puerto Rican History during my senior year of high school. During this time of my life, I praised the United States as the beacon of freedom and liberty of the world as most Puerto Ricans and Americans do. This greatly influenced my future decisions such as where I will pursue my college education.

The next year, I was enrolled in the University of Tampa, where I met a large amount of people from different places and backgrounds. I joined the U.S. Army ROTC program with dreams of becoming an officer in the U.S. Army, as my father was, and decided to study Government and World Affairs to pursue my dream of helping Puerto Rico become the 51st state of the United States of America. In 2012, my Freshman year, I saw a table that was registering U.S. citizens to vote for the upcoming Presidential Elections. I hesitantly approached the table, not knowing if I was even allowed to register to vote because I was from Puerto Rico. The students working at the table had to ask their supervisor, which confirmed that I was able to register since I was now living in the continental U.S. November of that year, I voted for the Presidential Election for the first time and could not have felt more ecstatic. After my freshman year, as my education grows and my perspectives of politics broaden, my identity as a Puerto Rican with American citizenship began to change. I began to learn of the United States's role in international conflict throughout the world, including Latin America, and became disillusioned with the American way of life. The summer of 2014, I was able to take a Travel Course with the University of Tampa, which took students to Cuba and learned about the history of Cuba/U.S. relations. In my two weeks in Cuba, I was exposed to a part of my identity that I had never explored, my Latin American identity. Puerto Rico is a small island with a largely Latin American culture, but its occupation by the United States has created this image of the United States as Puerto Rico's savior that most Puerto Ricans think is true, but do not know that its a lot more complicated than it seems.

As my college career progressed, my political identity completely reversed from trying to pursue Puerto Rican statehood to the United States to pursuing Puerto Rican independence. I do not, whatsoever, hold any anti-American sentiment because my political quarrel is not against Americans, but against the United States and its colonial rule over my country, Puerto Rico, a stateless nation. We are a nation in the sense that we share a common identity and culture, but hold no sovereign rule over our own people. I do wish to fight for the right of my people to become its own state, free from U.S. colonial rule, but no one cannot take out the American in me any more than they can take the Spanish, Taíno, or African in me.

Agüeybaná and the taíno people live in me. The food and music that the Africans contributed to our heritage lives in me. The Spanish live in me every time I speak in my native language. George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. live in me. Latin America and its national heroes such as Bolívar and Martí live in me. Ramón Emeterio Betánces, Lola Rodríguez de Tió, and Pedro Albizu Campos and every Puerto Rican that strove to fight for our country's independence from Spain and the United States live in me. I am Puerto Rican, and no one can take that away from me.