Stress, ha! We can all claim expertise in that field.
We know it's the unwanted loyal friend: always by our side, with no chance of going away no matter how hard we work or where we go. It keeps its title as friend only because sometimes it cross-dresses as eustress and then does it actually help us strive to do well.
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What we may not have realized, however, is that it not only hurts our state of mind, but it can also hurt our relationships with other people, too. Instead of seeing stress as just a frenemy, I've been seeing it as an enraged demon borne from our own personal frustrations.
We don't mean to roll our eyes at the stranger who accidentally drops her books and consequently makes us late for class; we don't mean to scold Mister Whiskers when he strolls away from his lovingly filled food bowl simply because he isn't hungry; we don't mean to give unamused, terse responses as mom calls to tell us her funny story from work today.
We don't mean to project our frustrations onto others, but it inevitably happens--and more often than we'd like to admit. This enraged demon cuts our fuse short and makes us feel like we can't be in control of anything.
This is especially true during finals, when all the shit we haven't glanced at twice is coming back to chomp at our behinds. We handle it with some unwelcome epiphanies, ample heart palpitations, a few maniacal chortles, possibly a handful of hair pulled out, and, of course, intermittent streams of tears to soak our notes. And because all of that self-injury isn't enough to chase our lovely friend stress away, we try to eradicate it by freeing our mental frustrations into the public.
While freeing it sounds relieving, the relief is only temporary. SpongeBob, constantly guilt-tripped into doing favors for his friends and family at the cost of his own time and health and unable to say "no," resorted to using the abrasive side as a way to relieve the internal burden. This method compromised the amiable ties he had with his friends and family, even that which he had with his best buddy Pat.
The simple, brutish way is not the most effective. Take it from our beloved sponge: just as SpongeBob's easy fix by using the abrasive side did nothing to solve his issue of being a pushover, snappy comments and gruff behavior don't get rid of our demon friend. The façade of freedom--the Sirens in our journey of mental disencumberment--will only add to our issues when we scuff our relationships and spiral into a whirlpool of more frustrations. Before we know it, we could end up as a lonely, dried out, foul sponge only fit for the gas station outhouse.
The more effective way of handling the stress is not by projecting it into the public, but by letting the public be the escape from our mind's dark tempest. If things don't work out on the inside, we can compensate by making sure things work out on the outside. That way, our minds get a break from stress's imprisonment, and we can focus on restoring balance and control in our lives.
Don't we need our friends when finals are over to celebrate with ice cream and clinking glasses? Don't we need our family to go on the very necessary vacation during the break? And it goes without saying: we need our furry friends to snuggle up by our side to mitigate the anxiety of finding out exam results--even if it means that they're there to help absorb the tears of disappointment.
Whatever happens happens, and in the long run, what matters the most in this lifetime are the connections we've made and kept with other beings. Relationship losses from fleeting frustration means that the enraged demon has won.
So what if that rash response has already been made? Hope is not lost! SpongeBob was unaware of the damage that his abrasive side caused until he clearly hurt Patrick. Fortunately, we don't need to wait until resentful feelings and dented hearts return--like those untouched notes--to chomp at our behinds. We know how stress invades and overwhelms us, and we know about its capabilities if we let it run rampant. But that also means we know how to tame the enraged demon before it possesses us.
When the stress begins to envelop your head...take a long look in the mirror. In it, you want to see a soft yellow sponge, not a bristly green monster.
