Being freakishly tall at 7 feet of man, I can vouch that it's actually pretty cool. From all the comments I get every single day from you average-heighted folk, I'm just going to assume that a lot of you do wonder exactly how the weather is up here.
Well, wonder no more, because being tall is awesome. Don't get me wrong, there is a fair share of negatives to being a height deviant; there's a slight learning curve to it, since as soon as that growth spurt hits, door frames are serious health risks. This world ain't built for the height-endowed, so weaving through buildings and crowds takes ballerina-esque grace to prevent us from looking too much like a newborn deer. Anyways, here are a few reasons why being tall is the bomb:
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1. Low-Key Celeb Status.
Ever wonder what it would feel like to be the child of a famous celebrity? I know, who doesn't, right!? Well, when you're tall, you get to be recognized and showered with attention everywhere you go by the common plebs for nothing that you ever really did! Of course, it gets annoying when people whisper and stare with their jaws dropped (I see you...I see everything remember I'm tall), but the FREEBIES! People feel the need to buy you a drink at a bar just to talk with you, you gain access to all the awesome parties and people from just looking cool, and all at no expense or effort...it's crazy but I'll take it.
2. It's an Ice-Breaker.
"OMG how tall are you!? You're so coooolll! Add me on Snapchat!" Boom...ice shattered.
3. Eat All The Food!
When you're this height, food is distributed evenly between so much human that you never grow horizontally. Even when I pound that 16-ounce ribeye and follow that up with a pitcher of ice-cold beer, next morning I'll still look like I've been hunger striking for world peace the last few weeks.
4. Front Row Seats...Anywhere.
No matter the venue or crowd, I can still see over the masses of people. Never do I have to struggle forward into the jumble of limbs at an EDM concert just to get a peek at the pretty lights...I'll enjoy the entirety of the show with plenty of breathing and fist-pumping room thank you very much.
So there you have it. Some reasons why being a bit lofty is totally sweet. Don't get me wrong...I'm not trying to rub my totally awesome presence into your mundane and normally elevated faces. But you just got to understand that sometimes, I really just can't help myself.
