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Navigating the Talking Stage: 21 Essential Questions to Ask for Connection

It's mandatory to have these conversations.

Brianna Cicero

Mar 07, 2024

National Writers Society

234659

a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Woman taking notes all stars lol GIF by LifetimeGiphy

1. What do you do for a living?

two women talking while looking at laptop computerPhoto by KOBU Agency on Unsplash

What someone does for a living can tell a lot about who they are and what they're interested in! Their career reveals a lot more about them than just where they spend their time to make some money.

2. What's your favorite color?

OK, I get it, this seems like something you would ask a Kindergarten class, but I feel like it's always good to know someone's favorite color. You could always send them that Snapchat featuring you in that cute shirt you have that just so happens to be in their favorite color!

3. Do you have any siblings?

shallow focus photography of two boys doing wacky facesPhoto by Austin Pacheco on Unsplash

This one is actually super important because it's totally true that people grow up with different roles and responsibilities based on where they fall in the order. You can tell a lot about someone just based on this seemingly simple question.

4. What's your favorite television show?

OK, maybe this isn't a super important question, but you have to know ASAP if you can quote Michael Scott or not. If not, he probably isn't the one. Sorry, girl.

5. When is your birthday?

happy birthday balloons with happy birthday textPhoto by Morgan Lane on Unsplash

You can then proceed to do the thing that every girl does without admitting it and see how compatible your zodiacs are.

6. What's your biggest goal in life?

If you're like me, you have big goals that you want to reach someday, and you want a man behind you who also has big goals and understands what it's like to chase after a dream. If his biggest goal is to see how quickly he can binge-watch "Grey's Anatomy" on Netflix, you may want to move on.

7. If you had three wishes granted to you by a genie, what would they be?

The Aladdin Genie holding the magic lamp

itty-bitty living space." | The Genie shows Aladdin how… | Flickrwww.flickr.com

This is a go-to for an insight into their personality. Based on how they answer, you can tell if they're goofy, serious, or somewhere in between.

8. What's your favorite childhood memory?

For some, this may be a hard question if it involves a family member or friend who has since passed away. For others, it may revolve around a tradition that no longer happens. The answers to this question are almost endless!

9. If you could change one thing about your life, what would it be?

We all have parts of our lives and stories that we wish we could change. It's human nature to make mistakes. This question is a little bit more personal but can really build up the trust level.

10. Are you a cat or a dog person?

shallow focus photography of dog and catPhoto by Anusha Barwa on Unsplash

I mean, duh! If you're a dog person, and he is a cat person, it's not going to work out.

11. Do you believe in a religion or any sort of spiritual power?

Personally, I am a Christian, and as a result, I want to be with someone who shares those same values. I know some people will argue that this question is too much in the talking stage, but why go beyond the talking stage if your personal values will never line up?

12. If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would it be?

Camper van driving through a national park

yellow Volkswagen van on roadPhoto by Dino Reichmuth on Unsplash

Even homebodies have a must visit place on their bucket list!

13. What is your ideal date night?

Hey, if you're going to go for it... go for it!

14. Who was/is your celebrity crush?

orange i have a crush on you neon light signagePhoto by Leonardo Sanches on Unsplash

For me, it was hands-down Nick Jonas. This is always a fun question to ask!

15. What's a good way to cheer you up if you're having a bad day?

Let's be real, if you put a label on it, you're not going to see your significant other at their best 24/7.

16. Do you have any tattoos?

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This can lead to some really good conversations, especially if they have a tattoo that has a lot of meaning to them!

17. Can you describe yourself in three words?

It's always interesting to see if how the person you're talking to views their personal traits lines ups with the vibes you're getting.

18. What makes you the most nervous in life?

woman biting pencil while sitting on chair in front of computer during daytimePhoto by JESHOOTS.COM on Unsplash

This question can go multiple different directions, and it could also be a launching pad for other conversations.

19. What's the best gift you have ever received?

Admittedly, I have asked this question to friends as well, but it's neat to see what people value.

20. What do you do to relax/have fun?

Work hard, play hard, right?

21. What are your priorities at this phase of your life?

Scramble pieces that spell out priorities

a scrabbled wooden block spelling the word prizePhoto by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

This is always interesting because no matter how compatible your personalities may be, if one of you wants to be serious and the other is looking for something casual, it's just not going to work.

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Recommended for you

Navigating the Talking Stage: 21 Essential Questions to Ask for Connection

It's mandatory to have these conversations.

1. What do you do for a living?

2. What's your favorite color?

3. Do you have any siblings?

4. What's your favorite television show?

5. When is your birthday?

6. What's your biggest goal in life?

7. If you had three wishes granted to you by a genie, what would they be?

8. What's your favorite childhood memory?

9. If you could change one thing about your life, what would it be?

10. Are you a cat or a dog person?

11. Do you believe in a religion or any sort of spiritual power?

12. If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would it be?

13. What is your ideal date night?

14. Who was/is your celebrity crush?

15. What's a good way to cheer you up if you're having a bad day?

16. Do you have any tattoos?

17. Can you describe yourself in three words?

18. What makes you the most nervous in life?

19. What's the best gift you have ever received?

20. What do you do to relax/have fun?

21. What are your priorities at this phase of your life?

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Think of everything that you've heard about college... and completely forget it.

1. If you thought that you knew how to study, you're wrong.

2. So you're living with a stranger...

3. You will lose some of your high school friends.

4. New friends are amazing!

5. You will feel like a visitor at home.

6. Embrace the party scene... or not.

7. FOMO is very real and you will feel every bit of it.

8. A good-night's sleep? What is that?

9. The "Freshman 15" is a myth... Sort of.

10. There's nothing better than a fresh start.

11. Yes, it will be the best years of your life!

Moms: the only reason voicemail still exists.

1. Leaves you voice mails.

2. When you answer, the phone says, "Hey it's Mom!", even though you have caller ID.

3. Tells you things about your friends she found out on Facebook.

4. Fast-forwards through sex scenes.

5. Asks you what really provocative song lyrics mean.

6. Comments on everything you post online.

7. Asks you if you are seeing anyone.

8. Tells you what she had for dinner when you aren't home.

9. Asks you the same question over and over.

10. Tells you you need a haircut.

11. Tells you you need to start eating more.

12. Snoops on your life.

13. Wakes you up in the morning in that annoying calm voice.

14. Tells you she's proud of you about everything.

15. Uses lingo in the dorkiest way.

16. Asks you to vote for her favorite contestants on 'American Idol,' 'Dancing with the Stars,' or 'The Voice.'

17. Makes a ridiculous amount of snacks when your friends come over.

18. Loves you unconditionally.

Blonde hair, don't care!

1. Mentally preparing yourself to convince your hair dresser that white is the way to go.

2. Or the anxiety of what could go wrong by bleaching your hair at home.

3. You could either become a ginger

4. Or a pixie

5. The face you make in the mirror when you take off your towel to unveil the perfect white strands.

6. Taking a million selfies the day you bleached it, because you know your roots will be back in literally 2 days.

7. Having to get bangs or a big chop because your hair is so damaged.

8. Having orange highlights in between touch-ups.

9. Going out for a drink afterwards to debut your updated look.

As told by "Parks and Recreation" GIFs.

"Uh? Eating? Am I Eating? Yeah..."

"Oh, yeah. I've been eating super healthy"

"Sorry, I can't talk! I'm studying!"

"I aced my final! No worries!"

"My grades? Uh..my professor hasn't updated them in awhile.."

"Everyone failed that test. Not just me!"

"I go to class literally every day. I'm NEVER late"

"I really try to just spend money on necessities.."

"No, I didn't call just to ask for money.."

"I'm feeling really motivated about the coming semester.."

"I'm really right on track to graduate"

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