Trigger Warning: intimate partner violence, assault

With October being domestic violence awareness month, I thought it was important to shed awareness on a topic that if often not discussed. Domestic violence also called intimate partner violence can happen to anyone at anytime. Regardless of gender, socioeconomic status, location or age.

Intimate partner violence describes any physical violence, sexual violence, stalking and psychological aggression (including coercive acts) by a current of former intimate partner. (CDC) 1 in 4 women, 1 in 7 men. That is how many women and men will experience intimate partner violence in their lifetime. (CDC, 2010) Yet, those statistics are still not even accurate due to under reporting. What can we do to help identify signs of intimate partner violence and lend a hand when in need?

Signs of intimate partner violence can include:

social isolation

extreme jealousy

abuses and excuses

absences from work or school

changes in personality or appearance

self blame

For further information, visit The Hotline.

What can you do?

1. Acknowledge they are in a difficult and scary situation

2. Be non-judgmental

3. Always support them and their decisions

4. Encourage them to get more involved with friends and family

5. Help them create a safety plan

6. Encourage them to talk to people who can help provide them with information

7. Remember that you can't rescue them

For further information, visit The Hotline.

Intimate partner violence can be a tricky subject to navigate but by talking about this subject we are standing up against it. What is love to you? Share it with your partner, your family and all of those you care about.

Let's stop questioning why the person did not leave sooner and start understanding their situation and reasoning in a non-judgmental way. Let's stop saying "if I were in that position" because quite honestly until you are put into that position you never really will know how you would act, think or feel.

Bottom line is, with so many men and women being affected by intimate partner violence we need to flip the script. Let's start keeping our eyes peeled for signs of intimate partner violence so we can aid. Let's start accepting their stories and their decisions, instead of shaming them. Let's start commending their bravery. No he/she was NOT asking for this to happen and no he/she did not know what they got themselves into. There is no excuse for abuse.

For immediate help, please call 911

If you or someone you know needs help please go to Love Is Respect where you can chat, call or text in confidence.