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On Being A Talkative Person With Quiet Friends

Even with your differences, you wouldn't trade them for the world.

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On Being A Talkative Person With Quiet Friends
www.all4women.co.

Sometimes, life has a sense of humor that's a bit ironic. For me, it's through how I, a very enthusiastic and energetic extrovert, happen to have some incredibly quiet introvert friends. Suffice to say, this leads to both of us having to meet halfway.

When you're an extrovert, at least as extroverted as I am, it's pretty clear. I talk a lot. Whether it's through text or spoken conversations, if there's one thing I'm good at, it's chatting. Small talk, deep talk, feelings talks, long texts - I do it all. I like to speak, but even then, I have a fairly strong filter and am very self-aware when I do end up talking for extended periods of time. No other time is this clearer than when I'm with my quieter friends.

I used to think I was the quiet friend just because I liked to be on the computer and play video games, and watch lots of TV.

Ha. Ha ha.

Pictured: My reaction to how my younger self thought I was the quiet friend.

Ha ha ha ha ha. That's a good one.

As I soon found out through having actually quiet friends, just because you like to do things on your own doesn't mean you're quiet, or an introvert. When you find yourself getting stir-crazy being alone for more than a day or so without anyone to talk to, that's a sign that, shocker, introversion isn't exactly your thing. But, it can be for some of my friends.

I have a friend--Leanne*--who has been my friend for a long, long time. Fifteen years, to be exact. (Happy friend-a-versary!!) She's fairly quiet, and tends to keep to herself, but I didn't realize this when I was a kid (mainly because I wasn't exactly the master of detecting social cues when I was 4 or 5 years old when I first met her). Since most of my memories with her are from high school, when we'd been friends for a while anyway, she was so animated around me, I figured, oh, she was an extrovert like me!

Turns out, since we're the closest of friends, she's used to my energetic presence. When you're friends with an introvert, it takes a lot to get them to open up, but when you do, it's worth it. Now that I know introverts better (a large section of my friends happen to be introverts, for some reason), I can clearly see that she's an introvert.

I've also encountered this more recently, in college, with another one of my closest friends--let's call him Xavier**. When I first met Xavier in the first semester of my freshman year through a mutual friend as we all ate lunch together in the student union, he didn't say much, or anything. He didn't speak at all. All he did was nod and smile as I chattered away with the other people at the table, whom I'd known already and called friends.

Xavier honestly creeped me out a bit; after all, who doesn't talk at all? (Turns out, a lot of people. Still, I digress.) But, after I got to know him better, I realized that I was very, very mistaken in my assumptions. He just happened to be a quiet person who felt awkward in social situations, and since he didn't know what to say, he just... Didn't talk.

At that point, it all clicked. Granted, for me, it's the opposite--I have to say something, even if in reality, I probably don't! always runs through my mind when I meet someone new. But, since I'd had so much experience with quieter people as friends, I understood why he'd been acting the way he had--he was actually the quiet friend. I, being an extrovert, had misinterpreted what he'd been doing as being creepy, or standoffish. Nah, he wasn't (and isn't) either of those things.

Now, when I'm talking with him one-on-one, he's fairly talkative. Granted, most of our conversations are me talking and him putting in a well-placed remark after I ask him for input, or mentioning something that gets him anecdoting, but I never would have thought when I first met him that he'd talk. Now, he's far more comfortable in social situations, and I'm incredibly proud of him! Good for him! Still, he is the quietest of my quiet friends--but that is not a bad thing. I haven't known him as long as I've known Leanne, but he and I are incredibly close. (For you Doctor Who fans out there, picture the Tenth Doctorand his bestie 5ever Donna Noble, and that's pretty much our friendship, where I'm Donna and he's a quieter Ten.) I've essentially adopted him--along with my other close friends--into my family. The same goes for Leanne. So, quiet people can end up being close to talkative people; in fact, they bring the best out of each other.

For the extroverts and talkative folks out there, remember that if you have quiet friends, you have to make sure to not overwhelm them. But, of course, it's not as if they're weak. If anything, they're incredibly strong. You just have to know that their silence isn't meant to be angry, or that they are interested in what you have to say.

Make sure to listen to them. When they speak for an extended period to you, it's an honor. And, obviously, respect both of your limits. Introverts need to recharge after social interaction, and extroverts need sleep.

Either way, you love your friends, and know that no matter how talkative you may be or quiet they may be, they love you back.

Note: Name changed for privacy's sake. Name definitely changed, also for privacy's sake.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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