So I am only 21 years old, about to be 22 in this coming August. Today I am feeling a tad emotional. I am not quite sure why, or where these feelings are stemming from. This is happening though, and one of my favorite outlets when I feel like this is writing. I have decided that I want my writing theme to be more of a blog of emotions from week to week. What is happening in and out of my surroundings and how that affects me myself and I.

Growing up it was not an easy thing to do and talk about feelings. Whatever I was feeling on the inside was supposed to stay there. Look good, act like you're better, and do not let them know anything. This was more or less how I was taught to act. So sometimes this can be challenging. I need to remind myself that is not the way my life is now.

Right now I want to express how challenging the feeling of love can be when you are in your early twenties. Not that love cannot be a constant challenge, but for some reason you may feel like you may not be satisfied if you do not find a human to marry. I do not know where this came about. How this need for a statement to create satisfaction. Of course falling in love is one of the greatest feelings there are, but it should not be what we are taught to look for. Not all of us are taught that, but it surrounds us. We read all about the young and fashionable couples who are so happy.

One of my good friends is dealing with a break up right now and this person is only 20 years old, and may believe that they will not find another person to fill that emotion every again. This is just crazy when I think about it. This is almost hard to write down. You cannot teach someone that love and happiness come from within yourself, they will think you're a corny idiot. However what I have come to learn in life is that some of the most cheesy things are the realest. When it comes to falling in love, advice is kind of difficult because it happens on everyone's one agenda. I may be babbling on, and I apologize for that. However this is just a topic that confuses me.

I am a single gay man. I have felt love before, but right now I am just trying to figure out the direction I want to go in my life. What I believe for myself is I need to learn how to love the crap out of myself before true loves enter my life. I want to make sure that I feel satisfied with myself. This is one of the most crucial things a human being should do for them self. Sing a love song for yourself, take a walk alone. eat by yourself, treat yourself, figure out what you truly want in life.