“So are you two like talking or what?”

Somehow, talking has become the new dating. No, hold that thought. Dating isn’t even a respectful comparison because dating includes a level of exclusivity, going on actual dates (shocker!), getting to know a person face to face, and not being afraid to put your feelings out in the open with the other person.

“Talking” is our generations lame excuse for bare minimum exclusivity. Netflix “dates” have taken the place of actual ones. Relationships are formed around texting, and talking revolves around non committal “yeah I kind of like her/him, we’ll just see where it goes” blasé feelings. Talking is the name of the game and you win by being the person to show the least amount of interest. It makes no sense.

I was never one to seek out this kind of relationship, but I still ended up getting sucked into it. I know it sounds like I’m gearing all of my frustration towards those who actively participate in this, but the blame can’t be put all on them. It’s people like me who perpetuate the ordeal out of fear of coming across as too needy, emotional, or attached by suggesting an actual date or talking about feelings (which is ridiculous). This precarious limbo needs to stop.

Why are casual relationships and talking the new ideal? Why are we so afraid to label a relationship as dating when that is exactly what it is? Don’t be content with having longer conversations over text than in person, or with a person who won’t define your relationship. Don’t be afraid to question what you are when it’s been two months and your friends ask about it and you still don’t have a solid answer. You deserve an answer if it’s what you want. You deserve a guy or girl who is not only capable of putting a defining label on things when it gets to that point, but someone who is happy to do so without urging. Otherwise what’s the point? You can’t continue in limbo forever, although I think a lot of “talking” supporters believe you can.

Don’t settle for this minimal effort, minimal feelings type of relationship. Don’t let whoever you’re talking to at the moment make you feel silly for wanting more. And if they won’t give you more, that’s okay but don’t stay stuck with them just because there’s a level of comfort and feelings still there on your end. Move on and find someone who wants much more than “talking” offers because honestly, it doesn’t offer much more than hurt feelings and misunderstanding in the end. Know what you want and don’t be afraid to ask for it. Don’t be afraid to wait for it. It might take a while, but if you hold out for what you know you really want, then you’ll be happier in the end. And happy sounds pretty good.