“Death sweeps in like an uninvited spirit and takes all of the best guests before the party is intended to be over,” -Unknown.

The death of a loved one comes with it’s challenges. Family members have to decide and make decisions about how their loved one would like to be laid to rest, friends cry through painful and long funerals, and often continue their tears for weeks at a time. The situation would be made much more easy for the loved ones of the departed if the departed actually spelled out in life how they wish for their memorial and burial services to be handled. If families discuss death between one another in order to be prepared for it if it comes, than time after the dearly departed has died is made much easier for the family. This is not a not suggestion that everyone go out and prepare their own burial site tomorrow, so that their family members do not have to worry about it, I am simply suggesting having a hard conversation between loved ones.

Having gone through the deaths of many loved ones, and the near death of my father, I have come to realize that it is important to talk to family about how you would want your end of life care to be taken. The conversation doctors forced my family to have with my father about his final resting place and wishes spurred on the conversation for all of us. I discovered much more about myself, and what I would want if I was to meet an untimely fate, because of an open minded family. I was also able to discover that my brother wants a party, full with gags and ironic music (“Highway to Hell” by AC/DC beginning the funeral), so that no one needs to be sad that he is gone. I found that I would want a different and more quiet approach, (beginning the memorial with “Elijah” by Rich Mullins). But the conversation also took another turn for both my brother and I. We found that we prefer different end of life treatment, unlike my parents would ever guess about us without asking.

What my father’s oncologists never realized is that they would stir my entire family to realize the importance of having this conversation between a family because there are many different sides of the subject to consider: medications you would or would not accept for end of life care, the medical measures taken to spare of renew life, family medical history for future preparation, funerals and burials. It is important to note all of these things between all family members, young or old, sick or healthy, because life is so unpredictable. There are accidents and illnesses that come, as a daily part of life, that no one could see coming. That’s why, it is very important to always consider end of life measures with the loved ones around you, so that they can choose the options you would wish for yourself if anything were to ever happen.