I'm certain many of you are aware of "The 5 Love Languages," a book written by Dr. Gary Chapman. The book is written based on his proposition that individuals tend to experience and demonstrate love in one of five categories — physical touch, quality time, acts of service, gifts and my personal favorite, words of affirmation. While the book primarily focuses on love and dating relationships, this idea can additionally span across all different relational contexts between friends, family, coworkers and peers.
Now, do the Love Languages have a connotation of being cheesy? Some might say yes. But cheesy doesn't tend to bother me so much. I've been fascinated by the Love Languages for a while now, which has led to personal reflection in how I experience love from others.
As I've previously stated, I find myself typically feeling cared about through words of affirmation. Hearing that I did something well or that I'm appreciated means the world to me. Handwritten notes are true blessings to receive. I truly treasure the encouragement from people dearest to me, and personally, words don't lose their meaning the more I hear them.
Additionally, because this is how I experience love and friendship, I tend to demonstrate my love for others in this very way. I'm a firm believer in telling someone what you admire or appreciate about them, whether it's liking the clothing they wear, their singing voice or the way they pursue their passions. I will take advantage of any and every opportunity to compliment someone or tell them how amazing I think they are. It's always been my philosophy that people should always feel adored and appreciated for the beauty that they demonstrate to others — however that is manifested.
Now, because my Christian faith is a huge part of my identity, how does that relate to the way I show and receive love? Matthew 22:39 shows Jesus calling us to "love our neighbors as ourselves," naming it the second greatest commandment only behind loving God.
But what if we, as uniquely individual children of God, experience love differently?
While I feel cared for most through verbal demonstrations of empathy and affirmation, I'm realizing (much later than I'd like to admit) that my brothers and sisters in Christ may feel more appreciated in different ways. Through connecting this knowledge about our call as Christians to love and knowing firsthand how wonderful it feels to feel loved, I have experienced a revelation: I need to put others first to love them as best as I can. My friends, family and peers deserve that. This means being aware of the way they want — and even need — to be loved, and appealing to this through my actions towards them.
Now, I'm not saying that I'm perfect in this — I'm nowhere near it. But I'm taking baby steps (which are so underrated, by the way). And it is my daily prayer that I can live a life that demonstrates the love of God to all those that I come in contact with — in the way that they experience it most.
