I’ve been to a few rock concerts in my day (Def Leppard, Journey, Testament, Edguy, Kamelot, Alice Cooper, and Marilyn Manson), and let me tell you, it’s a whirlwind, unforgettable experience! Rock concerts are a lot of fun, but they’re also exhausting. By the end of most of them, you’ll be drenched in sweat (and not always your own), your make-up (if you wore any) will be smudged and/or runny, and your hair will look like a small tornado blew through it! Like anything great in life, concerts come with their set of challenges and a few drawbacks. If you’re a major fan of the music though, it’s worth it, if only to be washed in the glory of loud, pulsing rock, and boss light shows and pyro for a couple hours.

For those of you who are brave enough, adventurous enough, and just desperate enough to want to be near the stage, you’re going into the “pit”! Lots of crazy shit happens in the mosh pit, and technically, they’re not as crazy as they may sound to some; it’s just standard procedure. The stuff I’m about to mention, no doubt happens at every concert across the country, so for all you headbangers out there, you’ll know that the things on my list is pretty typical. For those of you who have yet to attend your first rock concert, you’re in for a treat! Prepare yourself for a night of wild, crazy, mayhem and fun! My concert experiences are not uncommon, they’re simply the nature of the beast! So before you go to the show, here are a few things to remember…

1. Someone there, is always ready to rage! There’s always those couple of dudes who bring their anger to the mosh pit, and decide to pick fights with people. For whatever reason they’re so angry and restless, the world may never know. The Marilyn Manson concert I went to recently in Milwaukee, had a couple of dudes (who looked like possible members of the Aryan Brotherhood) trying to start fights in the pit. Just stay on your guard, and remember, there’s safety in numbers!

2. Speaking of safety in numbers, bring friends with you if you can. It’s more fun to go to a concert if you’re in a small group of people who know and like the music you’re into. You can look out for each other, and it’ll make waiting in those long-ass lines a lot less boring!

3. Show up early! Show up at least two hours in advance if you don’t want to be stuck at the back of crowd. The earlier you show up, the more likely it is that you’ll get a spot up front next to the stage.

4. Don’t waste time buying drinks. Seriously. Unless your group is dedicated to holding a spot for you and whoever else decides to get drinks, but other than that, don’t purchase any booze. If you’re there to see the concert, it’ll be a lot more fun, and a lot easier to remember if you’re sober. Plus, it’s usually the drunk people who I see passing out, or getting kicked out of the concert for doing something stupid.

5. More than likely, you’re gonna get splashed with beer. Someone always does it because they’re not paying attention, they’re not thinking clearly, or because someone else bumped into them, causing them to spill their drink on someone else. I’ve had beer splashed in my hair at one concert, and on my arm at another—it just happens. It’s not fun, but shake it off and move along. You’re there to have fun and enjoy the show, so just shrug off other people’s stupidity.

6. You’re bound to meet some nice people! In my experience, this is usually the older folks, dudes in their 40’s to 60’s. However, the women who go to these things that fall within that age bracket, are usually dressed in some sleazy get-up, desperately trying to relive their youth, in a crash and burn, mid-life crisis moment.

7. I don’t like the drugs, but the drugs seem to like other people. At the Marilyn Manson concert I went to in Milwaukee, two guys standing next to me where exchanging money and cocaine. I saw the little baggy stashed in one of the dude’s box of Newports. Both guys were furtively putting the coke on the end of their cigarettes, and then ducked down to light up fast, so no one would notice—I noticed. So yeah, there’s that. Drugs will be at these concerts. Don’t get roped into that nonsense though. The best thing to do, is just to ignore those who are doing it, and pretend like you didn’t see a thing.

8. Speaking of things that you want to ignore; the groupies. There’s always several chicks dressed in their sluttiest gear, trying to gain the attention of the band, or whoever will look at them. The crappy part of that scenario, is sometimes there are chicks who are allowed to dance right near the stage, and for those of us who went there to enjoy the music and the live show, it can get pretty damn irritating. Trying to take photos and video footage of the band with those chicks in the way, can become problematic. Try to crop them out of the photos, and use the zoom on your video cam as much as possible. It’s an annoyance, and if you’re like me and it bugs you, just try your best to ignore it and look past it.

9. Here’s a good tip: make sure you know the band’s music before you go. It’ll make it way easier to identify the songs when they start, and you’ll be able to sing along. Plus, sometimes the bassist tends to drown out all the other members of the band, making it damn near impossible to hear what song is being played. Don’t forget, you’re going to have to shout to communicate with your friends, and you’ll probably be deaf for a few hours after the concert is over.

10. Finally, the last piece of advice I have to give: have fun! Be loud, even if you’re a little obnoxious, ’cause I can guarantee you, everyone else will be! Don’t let other people bully you and try to bowl your ass over, just because you’re smaller or shorter than them. Plant your feet firmly into the concrete and hold your ground. It’s good for your “metal health”. Feel free to headbang, but don’t hurt yourself. Get out your energy, but don’t start moshing (aka fighting). Stay safe, be cool, rock on, and have a great time metalheads!