I have always wanted to be a soccer coach. Even as a teenager. I not only idolized world class players, but I also dreamed about being the next Pep Guardiola or Antonio Conte. Throughout my life I have constantly contemplated the type of coach I would be. Would I be a screamer, someone that would show all of their emotions to galvanize their group of players, someone that his players would battle each minute for and go to the ends of the Earth for (i.e. Antonio Conte). Or Would I be a calming influence that could get the best out of his players by relaxing them and taking the pressure off (i.e. Carlo Ancelotti). In reality, there is no right answer and there is no finite spot on the spectrum. You have to be who you are and find what works best for you. The other part of being a coach that I have constantly thought about is what type of players would be on my team. This is arguably more important as Guardiola once stated “I would not have won as many titles without Messi, Xavi, and Iniesta.” Soccer is a player’s game and is won by the players and often lost by coaches. So I ask myself who are the players I want on my team.

Immediately I think about the technical qualities of players. I’m a purist in soccer terms. I love passing combinations and players that can produce moments of fantastic technique and creativity. I was always the playmaker on the teams I played on and I would love a team full of playmakers. Obviously this is unrealistic because soccer is about finding the right balance, but in any case my ideal team would be one that looked to dominate possession and entertain. However, I have realized that it is even more important to me that I have players with great human qualities. Sport is incredible because of the journey it allows you to embark on. The highs and lows are feelings rarely felt outside of this realm. Trophies, achievements and games won are unforgettable, but the lasting impression will be the people around you, those who fully committed themselves and gave everything they had to be part of this special adventure shared together.

There are so many talented people. Yes, talent is important, but the decisive factor so often is attitude and personality. This rings true in almost any category. Soccer-wise, having talent is crucial, yet the application of that talent is the hardest part. Endless amounts of “gifted” players have failed at all levels. One can liken this to incredibly intelligent individuals that maybe did not have the careers their potential warranted because of one thing or another. Your talent is what initially gets you noticed by people. No coach in the world won’t turn their head at a player that can dribble past opponents with great speed or a mathematician that can solve complex calculus problems without any difficulty. However, it is their character that will stand out in the long run.

There is a popular slogan going around the athletics world motivating players to “control the controllables.” You cannot control whether you win or lose, but you can control things like your diet, sleep habits, punctuality, ability to being coached, ego, enthusiasm, effort, and so on. Look, it is not easy to give your best everyday and no one is really expecting it, but you owe it to yourselves and your teammates to attempt to be at your best. My philosophy is that winning or performing at your highest potential is a result of long-term dedication and effort. A very simple exercise I have recently come across and tried with my teams is to have the players freeze from whatever training drill they are doing. I have them reach to the sky as high as they can. (They think I’m showing them some yoga or stretching movement.) Then I ask them to reach up to the sky again and reach even higher than they did before. Finally, I reveal the point of this exercise. “Why were you able to reach higher the second time when I asked you to reach as high as you could the first time? Boys, you have to start giving your best right away. Hold nothing back. This opportunity to play soccer in your life won’t last forever. Make the most of it. Get in the habit of committing yourself 100% as soon as you step on the field. If you do everything to the best of your ability, you will be rewarded and you will be satisfied.” Almost every time we do this, the intensity of training is raised to the next level. That is what coaches want to see. What they dream to see is combining that focus and intensity with skill and class.

I want to clarify what I mean by intensity. It does not simply mean run around as fast as you can like a mad man. Soccer is unique because it requires complete control of your entire body. The sport is about composure and being smarter than your opponent. Intensity to me, is dribbling, passing, etc. with great quality and speed. Not doing things at 50% or going through the motions, but pushing yourself to make sure every touch is near perfect. I want people like that. People that I know what they will give me every training session. These are people you can count on. Those who one day are great, but the next day look like they don’t want to be there cannot be trusted to be at the best when the team really needs them. I want players that give everything they have and try to learn to become better players.

Of course, there are some exceptions, truly gifted people that these rules do not apply to because they are freaks of nature. However, looking up to these as role models can be potentially dangerous. Young players see them and think that they too can just show up and be great. They do not understand that behind people at the very top, no matter what industry, came a tremendous amount of work, discipline and sacrifice. Long hours training is why Messi and Ronaldo have completely dominated our sport for the last decade. The story goes that Ronaldo forced the training staff at Real Madrid to start the ice bath for him to use at 3 A.M. after the team returned home from an away match in Germany. That is the part fans and admirers do not always see, but make a huge difference between him scoring 30 goals a season and 50 including two in a Champions League final (against Juventus unfortunately). I want players that realize everything they do can affect their performance on the field.

Then comes the topic of leadership. I get incredibly annoyed at players exhibiting what I call “fake leadership.” I have attended many leadership conferences in college and gave presentations on the topic so I am aware of the different leadership styles different people have. Players that are not true leaders but pretend to be are the ones that always yell and bash their teammates when they make mistakes, but will quickly become defensive if they make mistakes. Actual leaders on the field and in life are those that know others will make mistakes and act properly by educating the person culpable of what to do better in a manner that the person will receive the information and focus on not repeating the mistake. Yelling “come on” is rather useless in this scenario. Sometimes, it is necessary if the players are low on energy and need to be wakened up, otherwise it is just a way to let out one’s own frustration. Communication is incredibly telling in sport, but yelling for the sake of yelling can be saved for lacrosse and hockey players where aggression takes priority. Communication in soccer involves solving problems quickly and putting your teammates in positions to succeed.

Finally, there is the discussion of the ego. When scouting players this does not always reveal itself clearly. If I am assigned to watch a particular player at a tournament, I do not simply watch their game. I pay attention to what he does before the game, how he warms up, his interactions with his teammates, coaches, referees, and even his family. He may only have the ball for 2 minutes of a 90 minute game, so what he does without the ball for 88 minutes is also a deciding factor. Nothing gets under my skin more than people with huge egos. My players will have a sense of humility, realizing how lucky they are to be doing what they are doing, that it is a gift to play college soccer, not a right. In the warm up I look to see if he is serious in how he prepares himself and if he keeps his teammates focused as well (that is actual leadership). If a player talks back to coaches or referees when he becomes frustrated then that will require a lot of convincing to get back into my good books. I understand that passion plays a role in sometimes overreacting, but there is a correct way and an incorrect way to reacting to problems. As for the 88 minutes without the ball, unless I am scouting Messi, no one has a right to stand around thinking he is the bigshot of the team. There are two types of people; energizers and energy-sappers. The player that thinks he is bigger than the team because he can score from 30 yards every so often, but doesn’t work back after he loses the ball is an energy-sapper. That attitude is contagious and results in more problems. Instead, an energizer is the star attacker that has 20 goals a season that still hassles defenders and fights for every ball. Teammates see this and will say to themselves “whoa, if he is battling so hard and running like that then I better do it to!” It galvanizes the team and raises the level.

In the end, sport is a great indication of the type of people we are. Do we try to help others and give our best, or are we arrogant people looking for excuses as to why we did not win. When something does not go the way I want, the first thing I do is look at myself to figure out what I need to change. I am a self-reflective person by nature and that is one of the first lessons my players will learn because as soon as you start pointing the finger, there are 3 pointing back at you. Someone that is good at something will quickly receive recognition for it, but those who are good people are the ones that have more satisfaction from their achievements and will leave a lasting legacy on everyone they encounter. In the end, that is why we are here. To make the best of the life we are given and that comes from building strong relationships with the people you come to care about.