“What if?”

This question bounces around in my head constantly. I live in a state of what if, often far too nervous to take a chance. One of my best friends Molly frequently refers to something called the “green stop sign”.

As far as I know, it’s a meme on twitter that essentially means “what you are about to do is psychotic and a terrible idea, but I support you”. This symbol specifically strikes a chord with me because, at my core, I am inherently scared of everything. I think biking without a helmet or putting sriracha on my eggs is a big to-do.

Putting myself out there has always been something that I struggle with.

Because of that, I have struggled at times to be nonjudgmental. I frequently tell myself and my friends to err on the side of caution. While sometimes it is probably best to do so, something I’ve learned is that life is simply too short. We are here for such a limited time, and when you really think about it, what is the worst thing that can happen?

I’ve started to play this game “worst case scenario”, inspired by Beth and Randall, the most wonderful couple in the world and the relationship goals stars of the show "This is Us."

I take every situation and think about what the worst case scenario is, and whether that is worth the possible best case scenario. It’s really helped me to find the balance between smart and worth it.

Every opportunity has a risk, but I’ve learned that sometimes the payoff is worthy of the risk.

You try out for a team, sometimes you make it and sometimes you don’t. You have to weigh the potential humiliation and insecurity against the pride and joy you would feel if you make it. When I was a freshman in high school, I tried out for volleyball.

As a 5”10 lanky gal, you would think I should have it in the bag. I failed to factor in my shaky hand-eye coordination, and general lack of understanding of the sport. Shockingly, I did not make the team. At the time it was highly embarrassing.

For days I had to tell friends that I had in fact not made the team I so eloquently had boasted was impossible to get cut from. Instead of volleyball, I ended up rowing crew, which led not only to me making some of my best friends but also getting to spend almost every day on the Potomac River.

Maybe I hadn’t made the team I originally sought out, but what I got from that experience was worth the risk a million times over.

You can play the “worst case scenario” with so many different areas in your life.

Let’s say you have feelings for someone and you're scared to make a move. Worst case scenario, you tell someone you like them and they stare blankly back. Not ideal, and certainly humiliating enough to flee the country, but ultimately worth it.

Because if your brave enough to take that risk and someone does not feel the same way. It.is.there.loss. because anyone worthy of you would be willing to meet you halfway and recognize how awesome you are. And if they don’t- you’ve saved yourself a lot of time and a lot of wondering.

I’m a sheep when it comes to those sort of things so I’m speaking as much to myself as I am to anyone else, but it’s ultimately very true.

Being in Spain has forced me to realize how safe I play it and how that’s made me a less supportive friend than I would like to be. My sister, in particular, is the perfect example of a cheerleader. She is always in my corner, supporting me no matter what spastic scheme I have brewing.

None of us are perfect and we should cheer each other on regardless.

I’m not sure I’ll ever be a daredevil but I certainly want to be a more supportive friend and possibly be a braver version of myself. We need people in our corner to remind us how brave we are when we forget.

We all need more support; we need more cheerleaders.

I try as hard as possible to remind my friends how special they are, and how much I love them, almost to a nauseating degree. I want to show that by listening, supporting and being someone who loves them through every success and every mistake. There is too much negativity in this world. Too much insecurity and self-doubt.

Being there for each other makes it just that much easier and worthwhile. Life is hard and confusing, but every once in a while we should green stop sign it because really; what is the worst thing that could happen?