"You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it."
-Benjamin Mee


In reality it hasn't been that long, since I've been diagnosed with anxiety. Although in my head, it feels like 12 years! Within this last year, I've come to know myself more than I ever thought possible. I can now see clearly the things/people that I don't want in my life. I used to surround myself with people who were only there for me when they needed or wanted something. People who would constantly let me down and push me around. I desperately wanted to be this strong willed, empowered, successful person I always knew I could be… it was just going to take a lot of change (which gave me more anxiety), and A LOT of perseverance.

I honestly didn't think I would have enough courage to let go of my past. It took an army, to get me where I am today. Now I'm not saying I don't still struggle, because I do. Anxiety doesn't just go away. It is something I will have to deal with for the rest of my life. Knowing that I try everyday to tell myself, that I am my own worst enemy. I choose how my day will turn out, and I have to make the best of it. I made sure from the day I was diagnosed that I would never lose myself again, the way I had. I wanted to be confident in who I was, know myself, and love myself, before I could ever let someone love me. Some days that is easier said than done, but having someone by your side, who understands what you're going through and supports you 100%, is the greatest feeling. Knowing that you have someone to fall back on, when the world just keeps pushing you down.

For people who suffer from any type of mental illness, it is one of the biggest challenges trusting people enough to let them in. We all have a story… but for some, it's not an easy story to share. It is not an easy task, finding someone who you feel comfortable sharing details of your life with. Personally, I didn't like sharing my story because I felt like people not only would judge me, but look at me in a different way after I told them. I finally found someone who has proven my theory wrong and has made me so much more comfortable with sharing my story. As we sat next to each other, sharing bits and pieces of our lives. I felt the sensation of pure comfort, almost as if I was safe from anything in the world that could hurt me. I just decided to go for it, it was now or never. I began telling him my story, from childhood, growing up, up to a few weeks prior. I told him things that no one knew. I basically ripped my heart out of my chest and handed it to him. After I spilled my guts, he looked me in the eyes and held me while I cried, he promised me that from here on out, he would be my rock. It's like all of my anxiety melted away, I was content. That day… after I took that giant leap of faith, I felt this sense of serenity. That everything was going to be okay. People would either accept me, or not, and I had to get passed that.

Dealing with any type of mental health issues, is going to put strains on certain parts of your life. I'm here to tell you, no matter what you've been through in your life… YOU WILL COME OUT ON TOP. YOU WILL BE ABLE TO TRUST AGAIN. YOU WILL BE HAPPY. YOU WILL GET THROUGH IT. You just have to be willing to take that leap of faith, and once you do, I promise you, you will feel more empowered than ever.