Everyone that I've asked has, at some point, experienced a time in their life when they didn't know why they were doing what they were doing. I, as well as many others, have fallen into the trap of thinking that I have to know exactly what I'm doing at all times. Whether it be in education, in a career or in another part of life, such as a relationship, many people are uncomfortable with not having a clearly paved path to follow. A destination, in theory, should make a journey a little more predictable. But what do you do when the thing you want most is nowhere in sight? How can you be satisfied without the thing you are working toward when it seems so far away?
When I work, I am a very goal-oriented person: I want to have a set of steps to get to an end result. When life throws random things in the way and doesn't let me see the path clearly, I am overwhelmed with anxiety. As I have grown older and become more "adulty," I have noticed that the times when I feel overwhelmed are more common than the times that I do not. I allow it to overtake me and affect every little part of my life -- relationships, academics and my mental health have been caught in the crossfire. I have arrived at a place where I don't even have an end goal anymore -- I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing with myself. I know what I love to do and what I want to do, but I know that those things aren't always reliable. I am terrified about the future. Some days, it's hard for me to keep my chin up. But what helps me stay above water are the small things that make it worth it.
Making a friend laugh, helping someone in need and accomplishing little tasks that I am afraid to do are small things. Finishing off my to-do list a day early is a small thing. Finally mastering that dance move that was so difficult for me is a bigger small thing. Even if everything in my life seems to be falling apart and I'm at the end of my rope, the small things help me keep it together. Sometimes the small things are interactions with others, whether they be human, God, or animal. For weeks, I have been struggling to do everything I need to get done. The things that have kept me going are small, sweet moments with friends, short drives up the mountain in my hometown and the brownies that I somehow always manage to have around the house. Your small things will be different than mine -- hikes, road trips, Netflix binges. Try a few out. See what makes you feel a little lighter.
Small things are not an easy fix, and they will not make your problems less important. They will, however, release a little bit of the tension that you're experiencing. They will help you feel a little more in control, because you are making the decision to acknowledge them. It would be ridiculous of me to sit her and write that everything will magically be easier. I'm still overwhelmed, and I still struggle to keep going. Anything that causes a smile, though, helps me feel like things aren't so bad. Today, my small thing was receiving my passport in the mail. While there are many steps that I must take to use it, it's a start. Utilizing small things will not make everything better, but they may help you clear your head and see what really matters --and every now and then, the small things become bigger, and they make it easier to face each day.
