dating yourself
Start writing a post
Swoon

I Was Sick Of The Dating Scene, So I Started Dating The One Person Who'll Always Be There: Myself

I am fully capable of loving myself in all the right ways.

423
https://pxhere.com/en/photo/1361955
https://pxhere.com/en/photo/1361955

It's no secret that dating these days is next to impossible. There are so many rules and to-dos and not-to-dos and never-EVER-dos. You have to play the game without being a player and always be three steps ahead while simultaneously falling back, so the person you're into won't know that you're into them.

A headache is what it is.

After getting out of a long-term relationship and being thrown back into the "dating scene" (if you could even call it that), I was totally blindsided and quickly overwhelmed by how messy it was.

After many failed attempts at finding love that only ended in frustration and bewilderment, I decided it was time to do something. I decided I would date myself.

I know, it sounds ridiculous and a little confusing... OK, maybe alot confusing.

And trust me, it felt even weirder. But I powered through, and I honestly grew so much from my time with myself.

I started out simple. I went to the mall to window shop and treat myself to some Chinese food. It wasn't super weird during the window shopping part because I've frequented malls on my own in the past. After about an hour, I decided to head to the food court. I fought the urge to scroll through my Instagram feed or call a friend because I would never do that on an actual date, and I had to get it into my head that that's what this was.

I got my food (bourbon chicken with the fried rice and green beans, for those of you that were wondering) and I located a vacant table. I sat down, painfully aware of how alone I was and started eating. Slowly, I stopped judging myself by every person's glance my way. It became less weird. And on the drive home, I actually thought to myself how enjoyable the time I spent alone was.

I was ready for things to get a little more serious.

For my next date, I took myself to one of my favorite places in the world: Spruce Street Harbor Park.

Now, at first, I was kind of nervous to do this. A young girl, alone in the city at night. But I swallowed my fears and realized that many people were alone in cities bigger than this all the time. So I paid the parking fare and ventured into my night.

It could not have been more perfect! The weather, the atmosphere, the sights and the food. My favorite place in the world became so much more special to me because for the first time, I wasn't distracted by anything else. I wasn't trying to keep up a witty banter or impress anyone.

Instead, I walked around and took everything in. I developed a new appreciation for not only the views but for myself.

While at first this little experiment of mine had seemed daunting and unsettling, I was now starting to look forward to my dates.

For my third date, I decided to take myself to the movies. This was probably the roughest situation for me. Everyone goes to the movies with someone, it's scientifically proven (I mean, not really, but it's a known fact). But I powered through.

I walked in and purchased my singular ticket, then proceeded to my seat. I got settled in with a Sprite (I had eaten before I came and I'm not really a fan of popcorn) and kicked back. I felt super self-conscious throughout the previews, as everyone else came in pairs or groups or families. I kept my eyes fixated on the screen, and (surprise, surprise) no one gave me a second look.

As the movie began, I got into it like I would any other time in the theater. By the time it was over, I had almost forgotten that I was alone. Even more than that, the word didn't seem to weigh me down anymore.

On my journey home that night, I reflected on what I had learned in the past week. I'd proved to myself how easy dating can be... when done the right way. I also learned that I don't need a relationship to be happy.

I am fully capable of loving myself in all the right ways.

In fact, it's something I want to continue and plan to make a weekly event of.

Dating doesn't have to be complicated, and being alone doesn't have to be so taboo.

There is power in being your own person, and there's even more power in loving that person the way you deserve.

Report this Content
the beatles
Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less
Being Invisible The Best Super Power

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

19 Lessons I'll Never Forget from Growing Up In a Small Town

There have been many lessons learned.

70755
houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee
nappy.co

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

132375
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments