Growing up, I always had a plan. I planned my life out before I even knew what life could give me. My wedding was imagined and planned. My future job and where I wanted to live was already decided. How could I have known what I wanted to do at such a young age? Growing up, I wanted to follow a strict plan to make sure I got to where I wanted to go. I almost forgot that the fun part is experiencing life and all it has to offer. I am twenty years old in college, and in truth, I still have no idea what I want to do and no idea where my life is going to go.
I have seen how life can change in a second, and then your life is turned upside down. You have no idea what is going to happen. I saw this with my face surgery, and complications made my face still on one side. I saw this when my dad suddenly died when I was only seventeen. I saw this when I decided to go to the College of Charleston, away from family, where I only knew one person.
Every choice you make has a consequence, and every choice someone else makes near you affects you. How can you plan for your future when you barely know what is going to happen tomorrow? The truth is, you can’t. You make all these plans about your future, like where you want to live after college, but what if you do not get a job in that location? You may want to live in New York City, but will you be able to afford it?
Planning is all good, but only if you face the truth that you do not know if your future will be what you planned. When I came to the College of Charleston, I had a plan. I was going to join a sorority and make the best of friends freshman year. What really happened is I didn’t get into a sorority, and I had very little friends. I came here planning on loving it freshman year, but in truth, I hated it. I wanted to go home every other day. I was so focused on going home that I didn’t get to enjoy the time I had exploring the city or making friends. I made friends on my own and in my own ways, and that was not part of my original plan.
I look at it now and see that I wasted so much time striving for something just because it was in my plan. I missed so many moments because I felt that I failed at the College of Charleston when my plans changed. Looking back and looking at where I am now, I realize that my life became so much easier and happier when I stopped planning everything. I realized pretty late in my freshman year that I would be fine, and I believed sophomore year would get better.
I see now that I am happy with how my life has turned out, and that is because I just looked forward to the next day. No matter what tomorrow will bring, I’ll take it in stride. Every situation has a good side, no matter how bad it seems.
I have experienced it so many times that I know when you plan your life, you lose out on the experience of living it. You lose out on the fun and the ups and downs. You lose out on your own life.
