I had an epiphany: I had absolutely no control over my life and I still kind of don't. But, I'm a work-in-progress as most people are and here's what I've learned:
1. Do NOT be dependent on a man.
There are too many factors that can cause problems in a relationship. I used to think that being dependent on a man was what women were supposed to do, but I was wrong. You have to be able to take care of yourself if the need arises, especially financially. If your spouse wakes up one morning and decides he isn't in love with you anymore, will you be able to take care of yourself (and your children if you have any)? If your answer is no, this is your first step.
2. Learn to forgive.
If not for them, then for you. Overall, it will make you a happier person. Regardless of if you think the person is worth forgiving or not, it will put extra weight on your shoulders to hold grudges. And quite frankly, ain't no body got time for that.
3. If you want to do something, do it.
You may think you are not able to do something you really want to do because of finances or whatever reason. No more excuses. If you want to do something bad enough, you will figure out a way. Don't allow anyone to talk you out of it. Life is short and if you don't do what you want, you'll end up regretting it.
4. Remember that nothing is perfect.
You want to strive for progress, not perfection. Perfection is unrealistic and the thought of reaching perfection will do nothing but bring you down.
5. Change is inevitable. However, growth is intentional.
Shit will change without a warning, but how you react to it is how you will grow as a person. Go with the flow. Take the chances to better yourself as a person. Grow.
6. Remember nothing is worth it if it doesn't make you happy.
I've made myself mentally and emotionally exhausted focusing on other people's happiness. Yes, children are the exception. But, how can you teach them to do the things that make them happy if you aren't doing the same? Make yourself happy. Your children will thank you for it when they're older.
7. Surround yourself with positive people.
You attract certain people by the qualities you display. Stop doing things you don't want to do. Stop doing things that are negative. You will watch all the toxic people exclude themselves from your life themselves. There's no room for negative vibes when you're in control.
8. Do not let the past be an excuse.
If there is one thing we all know, its that the past can have an affect over every day decisions. We're scared of all the bad we've been through. But let me tell you one thing: the past does not define you. The past does not define what happens to you. The past is simply the past and if you leave it there, it cannot touch you.
So what are you waiting for? Go take control of your life and stop reading internet articles!
