I was raised to help people. At a young age, my father sat my brothers and I down and explained how “us Winslows’” are raised. We are supposed to help other people. From that discussion, I’ve made it my life mission to help others in any way I can. The issue I’ve had, though, is finding the balance. One cannot simply do everything for others, just like one cannot do anything somethings for others. I have difficulty with this balance. I care about the goals, desires, and dreams of others. I wish to help them obtain those dreams. In that process, one forgets about themselves. I forget about my own dreams, desires, and goals. My goal is to help people, but I can only help those who help themselves. In life, one must try to help themselves. I cannot help those who need help if I cannot care for myself. I have come to this realization.

Here are some things I have pondered on how to handle this situation.

1) Take a breather

Sometimes, just taking a break and caring for yourself is something much needed in order to refresh for the next day. It is difficult to care for others if you cannot care for others.

2) Draw the line

It is okay to say no. If you have enough on your plate, or you need your breather, it is okay to restrict yourself. Saying no should not offend the other party. If it does, kindly explain to them why you need to say no.

3) Get to know yourself

Spend some time with yourself. Get to know your hobbies, your inspirations, your interests. Sometimes in the process of doing so much for others, you lose a piece of yourself. You lose the passions you had before. Try to explore interest you may not have known you had.

4) Do something for yourself

Make time for yourself. Do you enjoy reading? Find a quiet room and lock yourself in there and read to your hearts content. If you like to paint, find some inspiration to paint something. Do you like Netflix? Binge watch your favorite Do something for yourself that you enjoy that gets you away. Go to camp for the weekend if need be.]

5) Plan and access

Set goals for yourself. What do you want to do? What do you aspire to be/do? Do you want to own a business? Do you want to want to practice law? Do you want to be an artist? What is your aspiration? Set these goals to reach what you want to become. You cannot find absolute happiness by just pleasing others. Altruism is great, just don’t over load yourself. Take time to set goals for yourself, while taking part of the volunteerism and philanthropy you enjoy.

All in all, I hope you take my advice that I am starting to follow while going through this process.