My Ex Taught Me I Deserve So Much More
Tell yourself that you deserve better and move on
I have always been so hell-bent on finding myself a perfect country boy, who had that southern accent and love hunting and fishing, and who loved country music as much as I did. But, altogether, I was completely wrong. I was wrong all along.
The perfect country boy, or the perfect guy in general, doesn't exist.
Everyone has flaws.
When I applied to join Odyssey two years ago, one of the questions I was asked was "what don't you ever want to write about?"
I said boys. When you're scrolling through social media, so many articles pop up like boyfriends, heartbreaks, and exes, and I didn't want to write just another article someone scrolls by on their Facebook feed...
But here I am writing an article on guys.
I started dating a guy when I moved to Florida who had everything I wanted — he loved country music, he fished, he hunted, he had an accent — but at the end of the day, he couldn't treat me right. I'm not going to go into all the details, the only thing I wish for him is the absolute best.
We gave each other endless chances, and we would break up, makeup, and get back together.
I couldn't love him like he said he loved me. I know that people always say "you can't love someone until you love yourself." Even though I'm not completely happy with myself, I just didn't think the love was possible in this case.
I let myself believe that he was everything I had ever wanted, but I was blinded.
I spent my whole winter break back home with my family completely stressing if he should get another chance or not. Even after he called me dumb, stupid, untrustworthy, and said that if I left him for good that I would never find anyone else.
I believed he was right, so of course, he got another chance. He got his fifth chance, and now I know I'm actually done. I put my feelings out there and my insecurities on the line to watch them go up in my face.
I don't ever think I can settle down with a guy who doesn't support any of my aspirations. I regret not trusting my family and friends, because I thought things would be different, but they never were. It's OK though, I'm not sad or heartbroken, because at the end of the day I'm still young, I have a lot of time, and I have a lot of love to give.
I now know that I deserve mutual effort, someone who actually cares, someone who doesn't say he loves me to guilt me into staying, someone who doesn't care if I'm not wearing makeup, and someone who respects/supports my dreams and goals.
Most importantly I learned guys can't change in the snap of a finger like they said they did. I learned that trying to find someone who meets everything you wanted, does nothing but set's you up for heartbreak in the end. But it's OK. You live, you learn, you make regrets, but you will always come down to what's best for you.
"We all deserve the best endings, you just have to be patient."
