As many of you know that for the past few years I've struggled with depression and anxiety. I seem to have made this topic very prominent and all for a specific reason. Everyone sees me as a very happy go lucky person who will help whoever whenever but that's far from the truth. Even though I help everyone and everything, people always look down on me and that definitely makes me really sad. Especially when you give it your best in the relationship only to get let down by the people who are supposed to love you. I'm so sick of people walking all over me, constantly and being let down over and over again. Trying to be the better friend and making sure that they are better than me in situations compared to my own mental health? Yeah the whole things sucks a ton, it just causes a lot of stress on the body and on the mind and stress is something that I already have a ton of with school and stuff so it sucks a lot.
Being the better friend and making sure that they are happy is the hardest thing ever, but in this letter to myself I want to address to myself that I come first and everyone else's needs are not supposed to be my problem. In order to be able to address their problems I have to be in the right state of mind to make sure that I can provide the right sort of support they need.
Another thing that I want to address is my desire to appease everyone. Here's the hard truth, not everyone will like you, Rohitha. And you need to get that idea in your brain, because the issue then becomes that you will be so caught up in trying to make everyone like you that you forget who you are and what values you have for yourself and the person you are supposed to be. If someone doesn't like you then it should be okay, because not everyone likes everyone. And if you make sure that people are going to have to like you, you will regret it so much because you can't appease everyone and all their needs.
And with boys, Rohitha, you need to make sure that they are not your only concern. Medical school is your only focus and everything is nonsense. No boys are going to get you anywhere in life, especially not medical school. You, you have to work hard and be the bigger person and focus on the future and what it holds to.
In order to make sure that you are going to be the best person you can be, but only to yourself, Rohitha, you have to make sure that you remember where you come from and that you matter the most. Only to you and yourself because if you get all caught up in other people's drama it is not going to benefit you and your mental health at all. Be safe little one, you have a lot of growing up to do.
