1. Use 'LOL' if you're actually laughing something off. If you're actually irritated, use 'lol.'
Remember, "LOL" smooths things over so use it whenever you deem necessary.
2. Only use periods when you're actually upset. Otherwise, you come off as pissed.
3. Say "Yep" or "Yeah" but never "Yes" when in a casual conversation.
Even the occasional "yeet" is acceptable.
4. Budget your use of exclamation marks.
Otherwise it will just becomes a yelling match after a while.
5. Never ever EVER respond with just "k." Use "okay" or "ok."
You'll come off as annoyed, and I'll waste my time wondering what I did wrong.
6. Better to use "u" over "you" because "you" sounds more accusing.
7. Do not text someone's name in all caps just to get their attention for something minor.
It becomes real irritating real quick. Eventually, it will become like the boy who cried wolf so when you really need me, I won't respond.
8. Don't spam. It's not cool (unless you're in a group chat).
9. But respond eventually. It's not cool if you're in a group chat and never respond.
Believe me, I know enough of these people. I'll send a text through a group chat making a comment on something and get no response. Two minutes later, I get a streaks snapchat from this person or find them liking someone's photo. Not cool —please respond.
10. Never call anyone unless you text them that you're going to call.
But remember, this rule does not apply to parents. Unless you're okay with the whole "why-did-I-buy-you-a-phone -if-you-won't-respond" speech.
11. When correcting a spelling while mentally cursing autocorrect, be sure to use asterisks so I know what you're correcting.
Otherwise I'll just think you're rewriting something 50 times for the sake of fun.
12. Know how long to spell your 'haha's." Yes. There is a formula.
"Ha" means you don't find it funny.
"Haha" means you're laughing for the sake of the other person's self-esteem.
"Hahahahah" means you actually find it funny.
"HAHAHAHA" means you really really find it funny and found it in yourself to physically laugh.
13. When someone likes your comment or replies with a "lol," "LOL," or "ok(ay)," the conversation ends there.
Stop texting or pulling the conversation out. If a person doesn't add more to their simple reply, it means they're busy or just don't want to text right now. Leave it be!
14. For the love of God, please finish your text. That text bubble gives people anxiety.
When that bubble pops up for a good five minutes, I think something is really wrong. So whatever you're going to say, please don't let that bubble up for too long otherwise I'll have a heart attack.
15. Do not text in one word answers — even if you think it's funny.
It's not only a waste of your time, but it's also a waste of my time.
16. If you have realized something over text, say "Ahhhh" or "Ohhhh" but never "Oh."
It's like using "yes" or periods — it sounds pessimistic. The worst you could ever text is "oh k." That will make the receiver feel even worse for no reason.
17. Please don't ever text something like "We need to talk" or "Hey, I need to tell you something" and then disappear into the Soul World.
If you don't reply within 10 seconds, the person receiving the message is going to want to punch you in the face. Either don't text that and then tell us in person, or make sure you actually text us what you need to text in a matter of five seconds, or there will be war.
