self help

Toxic positivity is often an abundance of emotions that are confused and do not have a productive place to "go". No matter how well-intentioned it may be, toxic positivity is neither sustainable nor a healthy mechanism of facing obstacles. Let's redirect these uncomfortable and negative emotions in 4 different ways to free ourselves of the trap of toxic positivity.

1. Swap false reassurances for empathy

When we aren't where we want to be in life, we may fall into a circle of false reassurances. "Everything is going to be okay!", "If I just keep working harder and pushing myself, I will have what they have and then I will be happy!" You may feel as though these are optimistic thoughts. Don't get me wrong, I am not encouraging anyone to throw away their optimism. I am instead asking everyone to welcome their empathy, embrace your empathy for yourself! Suddenly these thoughts that are hanging above you with nowhere productive to land, find a place. They become "I may not be where I want to be right now, but that is okay, I just need a little more time", and "I can't keep pushing myself, this isn't making me happy right now. I may not have the same things that others have now, or even ever, but I am going to prioritize my happiness along the way and that is very important!" By showing yourself empathy, you are shifting the narrative from the toxic positivity of "it's fine, everything's fine!" which is, in reality, not at all encouraging and actually can be very negative and isolating. Instead, the narrative becomes motivating. By allowing yourself the space to finally accept that everything is not butterflies and rainbows- which is completely fine and normal- you will often find that you feel as though a weight is lifted and many are able to move forward in their lives in a very enlightening way.