1. Art.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but this art is for my eyes only. I am not picky with art, it just cannot be a stick figure you drew on a napkin. I am talking outsider art, museum pieces older than the museum art. Art that people look at and wonder why it cost the price that it did. If you do not have to pull off a heist under the security blanket of night, then you are not using your artist's eye to summon me. If you can get any pieces made by illustrator Joseph Mugnaini or painter Charles Lees, for example, I will be summoned in no time.
2. Typewriter.
While I am partial to Smith-Corona typewriters, I am open to other makes and models. None of them can be electric, that would just make no sense for a spiritual awakening. Manual machines only please and make sure that ribbon has plenty of ink. Bring some sheets of paper and watch the keys catapult the typebars onto the page with the power of possession. I will write you an account of the inter-dimensional and metaphysical nature of my travels between space and time that it took for me to get to you. One manifesto in mere minutes, coming hot off the press!
3. Sandwich.
Breaking the laws of physics will make anyone hungry. I will require a sandwich, but not just any couple slices of bread and fillings and toppings. If you bring heaven between a pair of buns, makes sure it is a Publix Tailgater sub with Pepperjack cheese and Spinach or their Italian sub, hold the mayo. Another option I will accept is the Vito sub from Jimmy John's, but instead of tomatoes, substitute them for the hot cherry peppers. Wheat bread, toasted, and make it a whole sub. I might not save the rest for later, but do not let that dismay you from completing this life or death (I mean important) lunch order.
4. Pin-ups.
I know what you are thinking: would not this be categorized as art? You have a point there, but so do I. We all can appreciate beauty, even if it is unrealistic and completely Rubenesque. Call it tasteless if you like, my palette does not have or need the same taste buds your eyes have. Let us just say that the powers that be take their time sometimes in between realms of existence. When I have to wait, I would like to have some femme fatale look back at me.
5. Record player.
I am old school. If we are going to summon myself right, you have to have a record player. To set the mood, bring a few vinyls with you. Jazz greats Bobby Caldwell and Joe Jackson should keep my interest throughout the ceremony. When we are all relaxed and feeling smooth with the groove, crank the volume and play Queen's Jazz album next. It must be played last and it must be played and heard. If you play it on your phone, I will know that too.
How would you be summoned? What would summon you?
