Being asexual can be hard at times, trust me, I know. There's always that fear of being broken, the frustration when the world seems to revolve around sex, and the worry that a partner won't love you for who you are. There are times where it's way easier for me to name the cons than the pros. But it's pride month--let's have some pride in being the beautiful asexual people we are!
1. Phrases like "sex sells" or being distracted by someone "sexy" just doesn't make sense to us
Someone in a bikini or a shirtless dude isn't gonna throw us off our game or turn our heads. Without that added ish, we can focus on things for what they are, and not what sex appeal masks.
2. Horny? Who is she? We don't know her.
Allosexuals just have this itch they've gotta scratch, or it's apparently very uncomfortable. This is especially true if they have a high sex drive. However, ace people don't have that issue. Even if we're sex-positive, it's a perk, not a necessity. No uncomfortable moments of being horny in public or wanting to get some? Yes, please.
3. We don't have to deal with the unreasonableness of "love" at first sight
Listen up y'all: love isn't a thing that happens right away. Love is a deep emotion that takes TIME to develop. But how many times have you seen someone look at a physically attractive person and be head over heels, crazy obsessed and freaking out when they look at them? I get obsessed fast for an ace, but I at least have to talk to the person and fall for their personality first. The same's true for most ace people. We don't fall for people we have never spoken to.
4. Our relationships are always about so much more than sex
Yeah, some people like one-night-stands or friends with benefits. But asexual people who enjoy being in a relationship know how to find joy in all the little parts of a relationship. Asexual people who like touch? Little cuddles, small moments of hand-holding, relishing all the little touches--that is our jam. (I am living evidence of this). We can Netflix and chill with our partners like a boss--and I mean actual Netflix and chill. We will binge your favorite shows with you, go on cute little dates, and be overall great partners as a whole instead of just great in the bedroom.
5. When we love, we love our partners wholly and completely
If you have an asexual partner, you basically have a guarantee that they're choosing to be with you for you. We don't do relationships just because of sexual attraction. We don't choose partners for superficial things like physical appearance. We choose our partners because they are wonderful people, inside and out. Sure, we do make some mistakes in who we love--everyone does--but we will never choose to be with someone because we find them hot. Asexual partners can name so many things about you, the real you, that we love, instead of just your body.
6. We don't have a physical "type"
"There's no cute guys/girls/people here!" Said no ace ever. We don't care about physical appearance, so within our preferred gender, any awesome person is game. If you're cool with us being ace, you have a chance--we don't care about physical appearance. And if we do fall for you, you'll be the most beautiful or handsome person ever in our eyes.
7. We're way more likely to fall for someone who's amazing
We don't fall for d-bags just because they're hot. We never have crushes on people if they're totally incompatible with us, because looks don't influence our romance at all. Sure, we might have bad relationships or have relationships who don't work out, but there was at least some foundation there. We're way more likely to have asexual crushes on people who we will actually fall in love with, and even asexual and aromantic people will never have the experience of pining after a d-bag.
8. Did I mention: NEVER BEING SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED
Like I think that's such an underrated thing. No regrettable hookups just because you were lonely and horny, no being hung out to dry if your partner isn't feeling it that night, no pressure on your partner to be sexual or perform because you're aroused. And no one has the power to get what they want from you because they're attractive. Honestly, people might say we're missing out, but there's plenty of great sides of not having to deal with sexual feelings.
9. Overall, we're just amazing!
We're awesome people who are learning that, even though society tells us we're not valid, we're awesome! Any way you slice it, we just ace life!
5 Things I've Learned About Post Grad Life
I don’t feel good about myself, fix me.
