7 Ways To Keep Romance Alive In A Long-Term Relationship, According To Dr. Gary Chapman
Sparks can fly even if it's been a while.
Believe it or not, romance is an incredible art that has to be continuously honed to meet everyone's desires! It is not always easy to keep the romance alive, especially if you are in a long-term relationship. However, it is certainly not impossible.
For anyone who's looking to spark some more passionate magic in their relationships, Dr. Gary Chapman, the renowned marriage counselor and author of "The Five Love Languages," is the one to turn to. Here are 7 lessons I've learned from Dr. Chapman's teachings.
1. Learn your partner’s love languages and speak it on a regular basis.
These "Five Love Languages" are universal ways of expressing your undying and committed love towards your soulmate. As Dr. Gary Chapman asserts, "The one who chooses to love will find appropriate ways to express that decision every day." Honestly, simply saying "I Love You" countless times is not usually enough to keep the romance alive in a long-term relationship. You have to show your affection and love towards your partner by speaking these languages throughout your relationship!
2. Deal effectively with your failures.
When you or your spouse fails, strive to offer words of compassion, and become their strength. Life is never easy and there will certainly be crossroads appearing out of nowhere. Sometimes, either of you may approach a dead end while navigating through the journey of life. But, if both of you are willing to become each other's support system while dealing with failures, then you can reach success relatively faster. It really does take "two to tango" and anyone of you could potentially become each other's guide!
3. Learn to handle your anger and don’t let anger control you.
Anger can prove to be a detrimental turning point in your relationship. Anger fuels a highly tense atmosphere and won't let you fix the problems cropping up. However, managing your anger will empower you more and will subsequently make both of you appreciate the fragility of your relationship. Speaking from personal experience, I have observed many relationships ending in breakups and divorces due to excessive rage becoming the barrier between two souls.
4. Learn to listen to your partner.
Listening is a skill that is exceptionally valuable towards accomplishing many great things in life. One of them is maintaining the vitality of your passionate and loving relationship with your S.O. According to Dr. Chapman, we tend to talk more than listen. Listening to your partners enables you to understand their state of mind, their desires, frustrations, and what they are really expecting from you. Once we learn to listen to our partners, we will have a much-refined idea of how to elevate our mutual feelings for each other so that we can move forward with minimal arguments and misunderstandings.
5. Strive to get each other involved in both of your lives.
A simple conversation at the dinner table about how their day was and what new things have happened is just what will make the relationship thrive and blossom. Involving each other in each of your lives is extremely important because it reduces the feeling of being left out and not feeling significant. We all know how difficult it is to coordinate plans together when both partners are working in different careers and at different locations. But, sharing your interests and what's going on with colleagues will act as a romantic booster in long-term relationships.
6. Laugh at all those irritating things during the early days of your relationship.
When you are younger, a relationship seems like a whole new experience. As you mature throughout your relationship, you end up learning oodles of information about your partner. It's natural to feel irked at the most trivial things but as time passes by, both of you will eventually learn to accept those irritations in a more jovial way, which will tremendously elevate mutual respect and love.
7. Work toward developing a nuanced, balanced, and understanding relationship.
In order to succeed in making a relationship withstand the test of time, both of you will have to constantly work to understand each other. Understanding each other is key to promulgating a lifelong commitment and passion that only a couple could experience. True intimacy can only be achieved if both individuals diligently dedicate their time and effort towards making a relationship survive all odds.
Follow Swoon on Instagram.
