Sorry, But As A Girl Who Loves Her Seltzer, I Actually Think La Croix Is Kinda Trash
La Croix has been termed La Crotch for very good reason.
It seems that the current trend of our generation is to like drinks that do not taste good. People pride themselves in ordering black coffee, they drink vinegary kombucha, and down "earthy" brews of beer. I'm not judging. I partake in all of the above. I can't explain it, but although I know in my heart that they objectively do not taste good, I still chug these hip distasteful drinks. However, there is one drink to which I will not subject myself: La Croix.
Let me be clear: I love bubbly water, be it sparkling, seltzer, or of the club soda variety.
I am a big fan of getting my hydration with a side of carbonation and no added sugars, sweeteners, artificial-ness, or any of the other bad things.
However, I do not believe in the brand of La Croix. It has sucked in the hipsters of our generation, what with its array of creative flavors and European names. The name La Croix translates from French into "The Cross." A bit sacrilegious if you ask me.
Currently, any 20-30 something is proud to walk down the brightly lit aisles of Target carrying their bright, watercolor box (a newsflash: La Croix boxes look just like a 90s solo cup).
You may be wondering, how can I be such a bubbly water enthusiast without guzzling La Croix like everyone else?
Allow me to introduce, Food Lion's Flavored Seltzer water. It is simple, no messing around with "Pamplemousse," just good old-fashioned grapefruit. It is MUCH bubblier than its French counterpart, La Croix is tame compared to the effervescent Food Lion Seltzer. Finally, and perhaps most importantly, Food Lion Seltzer is more cost-efficient. For every can of Food Lion Seltzer that I drink instead of a La Croix, I save 10 cents. Some may scoff at this amount of savings, but let me lay down some numbers.
I drink about 60 cans of Food Lion seltzer per month. I know, take a second to digest that. Anyways, a twelve pack of Food Lion Seltzer is $2.75. I have about five twelve-packs of Food Lion seltzer a month. In total, I spend $13.75 a month on my bubbly drinks. Annually, I shell out $165.
If I were a follower of the La Croix trend, however, I would spend $4 on each twelve pack I drink. This equivalates to $20 a month, and $240 every year.
Abstaining from the La Croix culture saves me $6.25 each month, and $75 each year. This is the equivalent to buying an extra cookout tray WITH a fancy milkshake every month or one extra super fun concert per year. Or, I could use my extra walking around money to buy an extra 326 cans of Food Lion seltzer water to share with all of my friends.
Go out and veer away from the basic La Croix. I promise, upon cracking open a cold can of Food Lion Seltzer, your eyes fill to the brim with tears, half because of the intense carbonation of course, but half because of the delectable experience that comes with every can of Food Lion Seltzer.
