How to Reconnect with Yourself After Heartbreak
We all know the pain of losing someone we cared about. But heartbreak can be a surprising opportunity to get back in touch with the original love of your life...yourself.
This is a response to To my first heartbreak.
Everyone knows the feeling of heartbreak. Whether it's caused by a breakup, a falling out with a friend, or a clash with family, the symptoms are similar: depressed mood, lethargy, crying, anger, exhaustion.
Sometimes, our pain and anger turns inward. We get caught up in blaming ourselves for our part in the conflict, wondering what we could've done differently. What if there was a way we could've salvaged the relationship that meant so much to us? What if we still can?
There are no easy answers to those questions. Thinking about them is bound to cause us pain. The most important thing we can do to recover from the pain of a broken relationship doesn't actually have to do with the relationship at all. Instead, it's about us. In the painful confusion after heartbreak, it's time to turn our focus inward and take care of ourselves.
How do I do that? you might be thinking. Self-care is a buzzword that's thrown around a lot in the days after a heartbreak, with varying definitions of what it actually means. Is it meditation? Bubble baths? Long hours of yoga and journaling?
In my experience, the answer is deceptively simple: reconnect with yourself. Physically, mentally, and emotionally.
On the physical side, that may mean yoga, if that's something you enjoy or have always wanted to try. It could mean going to the gym or playing a favorite sport to release endorphins. Or it could simply mean taking a short walk around the block to get some sunlight.
Mentally, I've found journaling is an extremely helpful practice. It allows you to lay out the jumbled problems in your head, and take the time to make sense of them. If you're not a fan of writing, you can read self-help books or watch psychology Youtube videos. You can also talk to a trusted loved one and ask for their objective advice.
Finally, we have to take care of our emotions. The first step is often simply letting them be felt. If you feel like crying for hours under your blanket, do it. If you can't get off the floor for a day, don't. Let everything out, and try to reassure yourself you'll still be there when it's all done. Put on a comforting movie, watch funny TikTok's, re-read your favorite book, call your best friend. You'll survive this.
