As some of you know, I have had the pleasure of reading "Wuthering Heights" three times. In the upcoming semester, I will be reading the novel for a fourth time (because I have apparently not already endured enough of Heathcliff's angst) in a British literature class.

That being said, I would like to use this power for good. As your favorite English major, I have taken it upon myself to create a little summary of all the main events in Emily Bronte's classic novel.

Am I saying you should skip the book and just read this? NO! However... I know 90 percent of you will just be reading SparkNotes anyway, so I thought it would be best if I stepped in and covered a few more basics. Enjoy!

Side note: I will not talk about Joseph in this article because everything that comes out of his mouth makes me angry and nothing he does makes sense. If you can translate what he says, then have fun with it! As for everyone else, enjoy my summary of him as represented by the Swedish Chef from The Muppets.