The Battle Between College And My Mental Health
College isn't easy, and I'm afraid I'm not going to make it at the rate my mental health is going.
Everyone tells you that college is hard, but they fail to explain why. Sure, classes are hard. Math sucks, and political science can be so boring. But that's not even what's killing me about college. What's killing me about college is my deterioating mental health.
As a college student, I feel as if people don't understand just how exhausted I, and fellow college students are. We have so many things going on, all the time, and sometimes it's hard to explain to people how we feel. Personally...I'm tired. I'm sad. And I'm struggling every single day with my emotions. But the thing is, it hasn't always been this way. I haven't always hated school, so why am I feeling like this now?
Growing up, school was fun for me. I genuinely looked forward to going to class every day and learning something new. High school definitely wasn't as fun as elementary school, but I still enjoyed it. The classes weren't too difficult and I knew that working hard would allow me to step on that stage in four years and receive my diploma. I was motivated. I was eager to succeed. What happened?
Is it meeting new people that makes college an anxiety-ridden experience for me? Being away from my family? Having to live on my own?
Why am I not happy?
I mean, many college students say they're just ready to graduate and finally get a degree to move on with their lives. That sounds fine, right?
I can't say I agree.
My mental health is deteriorating so rapidly, that at this point, I couldn't care less about getting my degree. I know that sounds awful, but it's the truth.
I am neither passionate nor excited about my college experience. Perhaps it's just the sad winter vibes catching up to me, or the fact that college is so different from high school. But whatever is causing this mental state, I'd like it to stop because it sure isn't making my life any easier.
And please hear me out, I love the people I've met on campus and I think the professors are great. However, my heart just isn't in this whole college experience thing anymore. I'm not motivated to go to class and do my work. My mental health is suffering because I'm putting myself through a process I don't genuinely enjoy.
Now, I'm not saying college is an awful experience and you shouldn't even try to go. Some people LOVE college, which is great! I genuinely hope that if you're thriving in college, it stays that way for you.
But I want you to know if you feel deep down that college isn't for you, that's also okay. College isn't for everyone. Your mental health is very important, and you should be doing things to reflect that.
Remember that your feelings are valid, and it's okay to feel the way you do. College is hard. Life is hard. But you'll make it through.
And I will too.
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