I love meaningless relationships and not being held down as much as the next person. But as a junior in college, now realizing I only have three semesters left before I try this whole ‘adult’ thing, the hookup culture I became assimilated into as a freshman is losing its appeal. Coming into college I had no idea what I wanted. When it came to my major, my extra curricular activities, or what I wanted to have for breakfast on a given day, I was at a loss of what I knew I wanted. When it came to what I wanted in a significant other I was even more lost. But I’m not that same college freshman anymore and I’d like to think I’ve learned what I want out of life in more aspects than one.
This isn’t meant to dis hookup culture by any means. I reserve the belief to not rest judgment on how people choose to use their bodies as long as they are cognizant of the decisions they are making. But at this point, I’m over the hookup scene I heard about as a freshman. With impending adulthood I want to try to at least adhere to certain adult roles, meaning I’d like to start seeing more people in my generation having meaningful relationships or taking time to focus on what they want and take some personal time to themselves.
Hookups can help figure out what we want from our partners, but I can’t help but think it gets old after a while. Hookups aren’t a bad thing. Consensual hookups can be fun, an experiment, a learning point, or whatever you want to make it. But here’s what I am missing. I’m missing the emotional connection. Little things like walking you to the door after a night together, or just a comforting text asking how your day was to let you know they care. I don’t know a lot of people who get that from their hookups. I also think, when it comes to hookups, they just somehow die out. Kind of like the extinction of the dinosaurs, the end of a hookup is sensed slowly but then hits you all at once, leaving you blindsided and with the notion, ‘well, on to the next one, I guess.’
If we looked at hookups the same way we looked at relationships there would be a lot more tears, a lot more overanalyzing, and a lot less readiness to move on. I have a readiness to move on to something more serious with a bit more meaning. I think we, our generation, owes it to ourselves. For everyone who says the hookup culture is ruining our ability to relate to other people and turning us into mindless humanoids who simply swipe right or left when we find someone attractive, I think we can prove them wrong. Hookup culture doesn’t mean we’ve lost our ability to have relationships with people, it means we’re enjoying being single with a partial relationship on the side. I’m over the side order though, I think I’d like to experience what the full order and all that comes with it.
