1. Night in > night out

Can we have stay in tonight?

but actually every night

2. You are running thin on excuses to not go out.

3. A night out really means leaving by 6 and being back by 9 at the latest.

A quick film, or dinner party? Yes please.

4. A wild night usually means starting a movie or new episode after 9.

5. Books are better than people.

Always.

6. Bed time is 9 at the latest.

7. Trendy references go right over your head.

FOMO? Uhhhh

8. Early mornings are the best parts of your day.

9. Constant mood: cranky.

10. Outdated music tastes.

Oldies but goodies for the win.

Frank Sinatra? Yes, please.

11. You lose things that are in your hands.

**loses glasses

**spends 10 minutes looking for them

**realizes they are in your hand

12. Updates for phones are the devil.

You just got used to the new way the phone is set up, and then a new update comes along and you have to spend the next few months adjusting to this new way of living.

13. What is Tinder?

14. Older people > younger people.

15. The online crosswords are a major entertainment stream for you.

They may be the online ones, but still.

16. HGTV and Food Network are the highlights of your day.

17. Forgetting is a routine part of your day.

18. Every morning you are a symphony of cracking joints. 

19. Once you make it out of bed, your only word is "ow".