Hey, it's sunny! For all the joy that brings you, to me it signals the five months a year when walking anywhere in the Los Angeles metropolitan area becomes a miserable experience of backsweat and heat hallucinations. Here are a few tips I've learned on how a Pacific Northwest guy like me can navigate Joan Didion's hellish city:

1. Hydrate Or Die

You don't usually need to carry too much water since every restaurant you pass or friendly place you know will offer you free water so long as you have a bottle. Drink while you have it, not when you need it.

2. Chemicals And The Sun Don't Mix

I'm not here to judge you on your chemical usage, just to tell you I've seen good humans have bad weeks because they felt like taking a five hour nap in the sun was a good idea. Unless you really dig sunburn and dehydration, I wouldn't advise it.

3. The Same Goes For Exercise

I had a friend once who went to an outdoor swim meet and came back a lobster (how he got the claws, I still don't know.) A lot of people think the physical realities of being outside are somehow negated by doing things, but folks like me still turn red mighty quick.

4. Rock The Sun Hat

Sunglasses can look cool. Full sun hats rarely do. But as the most effective tool ever created to protect your brain from the heat, I'm almost certain that Prometheus stole the idea of making bucket hats right after fire.

5. Memorize What Buildings Have A/C

Air conditioning draws so much power for such a vain purpose that I honestly can't see us having it twenty years from now. Make the most of it while you still can and hang out in the new dorms.

6. Enjoy It Sparingly

It's fun to be outside when it's warm! Go build up some feel-good vibes and vitamin D while you can, just don't stay in the direct sun for too long.

7. Or Just Don't Go Outside

Yeah, alright, I'm a hermit. Whatever.