At the end of my senior year of high school, my boyfriend and I had a decision to make. It was like an elephant in the room, were we going to stay together after high school when he went to a college out of the country?
We ended up staying together and I’m so glad that we did. After being long-distance with him for over a year now, I can say that it is definitely worth it but, nevertheless, still difficult. How do you get over the obstacle of being hundreds or thousands of miles apart? Here are some tips for you!
1. Talk consistently through text, call, and FaceTime
Notice how I don’t say constantly. You don’t need to text your partner every minute of every day, especially if they live in a different time zone (trust me, you don’t want to text a slew of TikTok’s to your boyfriend when it’s 3:00 AM his time, oops).
But you should outline certain days and times where it’s best for you both to text as well as certain times where you can have longer calls on the phone or through FaceTime. This way you have some boundaries when it comes to communication so you won’t be calling them during a class or important meeting. Of course, this is easier said than done, but once you work out these times, you’ll have an easier time communicating in the future!
2. Set aside virtual date nights that combine both of your interests
My second tip is to set aside date nights throughout the month that combine both of your interests, whether that’s having a movie night complete with popcorn and dinner or playing virtual games that you can work together in. To survive your LDR, you’ll have to have fun in the process! I love having Netflix Party nights where my boyfriend and I can watch stand-up comedies and overall have a great time that’s similar to what we would be doing if we were together in person.
3. Have a time in mind where you’ll see each other again
Now, this one can be hard because of the pandemic in terms of travel and quarantine restrictions, but having a time in mind where you’ll see each other in person again is essential. You’ll want to have something to look forward to in the future, something that you’re excited about whether that’s meeting your partner where they live or having them come to you! Surprises can be fun too, but having a realistic date that your partner is coming back can make things a lot easier on you both.
4. Come up with creative ways you can inspire each other
Personally, I love writing letters to my boyfriend as they can be more personal and nostalgic than a text may be. My boyfriend on the other hand has sent me gifts through Amazon or flowers through a local delivery company. There are many ways you can inspire your partner and be romantic at the same time, perhaps sending them a letter or flowers when your significant other has a difficult exam or interview coming up might be best for you!
5. Be honest and set boundaries with each other
Being honest and having open communication while also setting boundaries with each other is incredibly important at the beginning of being long-distance and throughout the relationship. Trust is one of the most important components of being in a relationship and building that trust is essential.
You can do this by setting boundaries with each other, whether this is about parties, using dating apps, etc. A lack of trust can lead to doubt, jealousy, and paranoia, so you wouldn’t want to create that kind of environment for your significant other. Being honest with each other, setting boundaries, and having consistent communication can lead to a trusting relationship!
6. Use social media and the Internet to your advantage
For this tip, I would recommend making Instagram posts when you hit a milestone together or sharing your Google Calendar with each other to stay connected. Now, these shouldn’t be used in a toxic way to keep track of your partner’s every move, but sharing what times you’re available with your loved one can make it easier to plan time to spend with each other!
Posting about an anniversary, a birthday, or just a post to show you’re thinking about them is a great way to connect and show you care. Sharing photos or videos with your partner through Instagram or TikTok is also a thoughtful and fun way to connect with each other.
7. Work on loving and being yourself
If there’s ever a time for having room to grow, it’s when you’re in a long-distance relationship. With your partner away, you’ll have plenty of time alone to work on yourself – your individual goals, priorities, energy, and other close relationships. This can be intimidating at first because as you’re growing, so is your partner, and they may have grown a lot when you see them for the first time after being away from each other for months.
But that’s the beauty of being in an LDR; even if you’re physically growing apart, your relationship is growing and developing at the same time. The trust and commitment that comes with being long-distance truly fosters a relationship into something worthy of being away from each other for some time.
Being in a long-distance relationship can be tough, no matter how far away you are or how long you’ve been together. But it can also create a deep sense of connection, trust, and commitment. As the holidays roll in, my boyfriend is coming back to the United States for his winter break and I couldn’t be more excited to see him.