It’s vacation! While the initial reaction to such a phrase is always glee, the follow up may be quite different. Vacation means time spent with family. Family can sometimes be disagreeable. Disagreements can ruin vacation. Oh no. We’re spiraling here. To prevent this spiraling vacation of destruction, here is a make-your-own-story type guide to holding off that political feud with your family.

Decide if you want to be right, or peaceful.

The holidays are a time to be cherished, and you need to make a decision as to whether or not you really want to be correct and correct those around you. Sometimes, it’s better to just sit back, nod politely at your crazy uncle and enjoy the time off from the stressors of everyday life. Unless, of course, political disputes are an enormous stressor. Then you should continue with this list.

Think about the time and place.

If your family member has really set you off and you definitely need to talk with them about it, you need to then consider where you are and what’s going on around you. If you’re in the middle of Thanksgiving dinner, for example, you may not want to blow up. Wait until after, when you are all well into your food comas and sitting around doing nothing, then politely start a conversation.

Keep in mind who you are talking to.

Your two-year-younger cousin will be different to talk with relative to your formal, rule-rigid grandfather. It may be difficult to bite your tongue when Pop spouts off something his neighbor read on a fake internet news site like it’s fact, but it is preferential to getting on the bad side of that whole half of the family for duking it out with an 89-year-old.

You can’t choose who your family is, but you can choose how you behave with them. Maybe you’re a liberal and they are all die-hard conservatives. Maybe you’re a libertarian and they are all flaming liberals. Any way it falls, it is rare for one family to all be politically unified. So please, go through these interactions step by step using this article. No one wants to ruin a holiday with a family feud. So happy Thanksgiving!