As I was about to move away to college, I was terrified of letting go of my past and even more afraid of what my future may look like. I was convinced that the hard times college would bring me would outweigh the joys that I couldn't even begin to see coming. However, as I reflect on my first semester of freshman year, I see a changed soul and a new hope forming. I experienced the same things most freshmen do during their first few months. Despite the various pieces of advice I was given, no words could have emotionally prepared me for my semester. It was a time of constant highs and lows and never-ending growing. Like most other students, I experienced a lot of change and pain. Looking back now, I see how that change and those hardships brought me some of the most joyous, genuine experiences and important life lessons. Out of all the things I learned while trying to survive my first semester, three things stood out above all others.
1. You can't do it on your own.
Yes, I know it's hard to believe. When students move away to college, they are expected to learn to live on their own, right? Although this is true, I learned that I couldn't survive life, much less my first semester of college, without depending on God. For the first few months of the fall semester, I was convinced that I wasn't able to handle the pressure and change that college brought. Little did I know, it was because I was depending on my own minimal strength and wisdom to navigate the unknown waters called college. Before I knew it, anxiety had enveloped me and wrapped me inside a dark tunnel. All I wanted to do was move back to my small town and return to my normal routine where I knew how to make a difference. I refused to see my new life as a great opportunity. I was constantly trying to figure out what I should do and worrying about how I was going to finish my seemingly never-ending To Do list in time. I began to let the little things in life consume the great joys. When I inevitably ran out of strength, I had no choice but to look up as I was laying helpless on the floor. That's when I realized that I couldn't control my life better than the one who could see everything. Once I chose to submit to God and His will for me, all of the anxiety and pressure that was weighing me down was taken away by the one who was waiting for me to ask for help the whole time.
2. It's okay to change (even in your relationships).
Odds are, almost everyone will somehow change during their first semester of college... and that's okay. What's funny is I didn't even see it happening until I began to reflect on the past four months. What I learned is that college is a time for you to personally grow in whatever area God has lined out for you. This is a time for you to discover who you truly are and who you want to become. However, this "new me" came with trials and hardships as consequences. These trials challenged me as a person and challenged my happiness. However, looking back, I see that these hardships are what is helping form me into the person I want to be. I learned the hard way that college will transform you in ways that you will not see coming. In the past four months, I have lost some of the most meaningful, loving, and important relationships that were in my life. As I was struggling through the process of admitting defeat and mending my injured heart, I found peace in the fact that since I am changing, the things that have been a part of my life might change, too. It is okay to change. Do not be discouraged by someone saying you've changed negatively. Do not try to limit yourself by fighting the change that's occurring inside of you to keep everyone else comfortable and happy. I learned that college is a time for individual growth. Look forward to the change that may happen and embrace the challenges that may come with it. The most beautiful things can come out of pain. Believe it or not, change can be amazing.
3. The purest friendships happen naturally.
As I entered college I was afraid and hesitant of what was to come. Everyone had told me that every other student would be looking for a friend and that everyone was in the same boat as me. Although these consoling affirmations were nice to hear, I wasn't sure that I would find the kind of friendships I was looking for. I was scared to be left behind. However, within the first few weeks of college, I was surrounded by love and acceptance. Whether you decide to join a sorority, become involved in campus organizations, or whatever it is you're passionate about, I challenge you to put yourself out there and surround yourself with other people. Looking back, I'm honestly not sure how I became so close to the girls who are now like family to me. It happened quickly, and it happened without me noticing. These effortless friendships have now bloomed into strong, life-long relationships that are based on faith, trust, and love. The names that I had never heard of four months ago are now forever engraved into my heart and will always be labeled as my best friends. The friendships you make in college are so unique and special. They are always supportive, never judgmental, constantly faithful, and forever loving. But just because you made new friends doesn't mean your high school friendships aren't as important. Although some may fade, your best friends in high school can continue to be just that. Trust me, I would know. Now that I have the relationships I made this semester, I can't imagine life without them. This first semester I learned that being yourself and admitting your fears may just bring you the missing parts to your heart.
Long story short, my first semester of college was a roller-coaster. Some days I would feel as if I was at the top of the ride, and other days, I'd feel stuck at the bottom, unable to move. However, by the end of my first semester, I was not only thankful for but in love with that crazy roller-coaster. This fall was one of the hardest times of my life, and looking back, I feel worn out. In saying that, I am pushing through the change and the pain that this semester has brought me with genuine excitement and hope for what is to come. I am grateful for the trials that came my way, which were simply just insane blessings in disguise. My heart is completely overwhelemd with love for my new friendships and experiences that I was lucky enough to be a part of. I have learned that no amount of challenges and business could hide the joyous experiences that God had planned for me. This first semester was an adventure that by the grace of God, I survived. But now that it's over, I can't wait for the next one to start.
