Whenever the holidays roll around, or any college break that is, family and close friends always seem to ask the same questions they hate or hated hearing. "How school? Do you like your classes?, How is college treating you?, Have you actually learned anything yet?" are all questions we have heard once, twice, or hundred times, but either way we bite our tongue to not hash out a sarcastic, rude, or/and insensitive response that will get you sent to your room without dessert.
Regardless of the enormous amount of self-restraint we exert, there is that little devil on our shoulder that has the perfect comeback that is dying to be said. Instead of giving in, here are 15 smart-ass, but respectful responses to those school related questions.
1. It's about 4 days a week if I'm lucky, but then you add in all the hours during and after classes, it adds up to about no sleep. Next?
2. If I tell you, I'd have to swear you in under the official college confidentiality oath stating that you will not repeat any information you receive, as well as reading and signing the written contract containing 200 pages that contain no images, but once the paperwork is filed, we can happily hold a conversation. Processing takes about 6 months.
3. If I answer without using any swear words, do I get a puppy/kitty/pony?
4. I appreciate your curiosity into the reality TV show that is not able air.
5. Hmmm, I'm stumped, tell me!
6. You ask as though you don't follow me on every social media platform.
7. Do I get points if I make up a completely fictional story that everyone wants to hear?
8. *Stuffs food in mouth* Gesture the "One moment, sorry let me chew."
9. It's like a mini experiment to scientists are conducting to see which occupation causes us to go mental first.
10. It's good! I slept in a normal bed instead of the padded room, but I miss the 360 cushion comfort, though.
11. Schools good, I'm apparently getting A's according to the voices in my head.
12. I could be living on a beach for less money than it costs to dorm.
13. I finally can relate to Britney Spears during her 2007 umbrella break down, and now I'm not sure if that was normal or if we are all going insane.
14. Last month I got a total of 18 hours of sleep!
15. Still in process.... Please hold.
