Every family has one. You know which aunt I am talking about. The aunt who does not have any kids, does not live up to the rest of the families standards, and who has to drink to have a good time. In my family, I am that aunt. I am the youngest daughter born to pastors, and complete opposite of everyone in my family. My father and I share a love for baseball and politics but that's about it. No matter what I do I will never be able to please my family.

I am thirty years old, the person I have chose to spend the rest of my life with happens to be serving three years in prison for violating probation. I don't have children, and don't want them either after suffering through a total of six miscarriages. I enjoy long walks to the bar, dark dry humor, smoking cigarettes, and giving everyone something to talk about. My family usually enjoys their weekends and Friday nights by staying in or watching a movie. And all though I have outgrown the bar scene, for years you could find me every Friday night at the local bar, and would spend every weekend drinking well into Sunday.

I have made mistakes in the past and put my parents through some hell. Just ask them! They sure love to remind me of it every time we gather. Even as an adult I grew up and made bad choices. I thought that was what life was all about, to learn as you go. But apparently this is not true in my family. I have two older sisters who are both happily married with children and seem to do everything just right.

My mother, bless her heart is that mother who loves a little too strong and cares a little too much. But sometimes her caring can be overwhelming. She does not know how to express her cares so it comes off as being rude and that’s the way I take it so I of course am rude back and then we fight and all of this could have been resolved if she would have just talked to me like a person. I do not need to be reminded every time I am around her of what a terrible person I am.

Don't you think I already know the mistakes I have made in my life? Don't you think I worry about waiting for my significant other while he is incarcerated too? Of course I do. I worry enough for the both of us so I do not need to hear it from my family as well. Sorry I am not perfect. Sorry I didn't get married and buy a house and have lots of babies for you to spoil, Mom!

They have never liked my better half. Not since day one. Probably due in large part to the fact that I was some what responsible, I had a house I was going to school doing things just right, but when I met him I completely let go. I wanted to have fun, he was the fun care free guy and made life seem so easy. I was tired of being good I wanted to party! I partied so much, I messed up an amazing job and lost my house that I worked so hard to get. But hey, that's life you live and you learn.

The day he violated probation and was arrested and sentenced to prison time, my parents just could not believe that I was actually going to stick by him. But hey what can you do? You love who you love right? My dad on the other hand, while he does not agree with my relationship choice either, does not really say anything about it. But sometimes likes to remind me of mistakes from the past too. Like I get it I know I was awarded so much opportunity and I blew it. But my heart wants what it wants. I love my better half incarcerated or not, and if he gets out and hurts me after I spent all this time waiting then it is another life lesson I will have to learn the hard way.

Then there are my lovely older sisters or my mother's informants as I like to call them. Sometimes I reach out to my sisters because they are blood and I need someone to talk to but it seems every time it gets back to my mother and the story changes just a little bit, and then of course and is thrown up in my face. If you can't trust your sisters who can you trust? I love both of my sisters with all my heart, and while I know they mean well I think there is some kind of code that they are violating when they tell on me to mommy. One of them is sadly worse than the other. One of them I have gotten closer too later in life. But like the rest of my family, she does not agree with my relationship either.

So I have distanced myself from my family. I treat friends as family. Because my friends have been there for me every step of the way. They have witnessed me make mistakes but they still love me. So what do I do to get through family functions and accept the fact that I am a major disappointment to them all? I get drunk at holiday parties to deal with it all. Because when you are drunk you don’t really care what anyone thinks of you anyways! However, with age one thing I have learned is that may be some of the reason why I am such a let down to them! When dealing with a family like mine who does not drink, you have to play by their rules. Follow my guide and you will be sure to have a better holiday experience this year!

Leave your Alcohol in your car

One thing I have learned in the past is that when I walk in to my parents' house with alcohol, is that what could have been a nice smooth night will quickly turn sour because, of course, they will have to make a comment as soon as I take it out of the bag. Whatever it is leave it in your car and, When opportunity strikes sneak outside to indulge in the sweet sin. Keep gum in your pockets to cut out the smell. Purses can work too, but remember as you get more intoxicated you are likely to leave your purse sitting somewhere, in which the alcohol can be seen and then may have to hear the, “Your alcoholism is so bad you keep it in your purse.” Speech. So I always recommend your car.

Let it go in one ear and out the other

Even if your mother is telling you for the hundredth time about how terrible you are or what a waste of time your relationship is do not listen. I know sometimes you just want to snap back and say, "It’s my life, I pay my own bills, I do what I want!" But you have to just let it go. Sometimes when my mother is talking I imagine her singing, “Let it Go.” From Frozen until her rant is over.(Any song will work)And after she is done, which depending on the mother may take some time, always end on a positive note. Say something like, “I love you mom. Have you lost weight?”

Talk as little as possible

So your sister is telling a funny story involving one of your nieces or nephews and what they did at school today, and then your dad chimes in with a funny story of what happened to him at the grocery store last week, do not chime in with a funny story. The alcohol will be talking it will not end well. You have to bite your tongue! This is not the time to tell the story of the time you left the bar completely trashed and had to have a tow truck tow you home and you peed in the front seat while throwing up in the drivers lap and then got home and passed out in your front yard. Learn to pick your audiences with your stories. It never goes well with family. No matter how intoxicated you are always remember to keep those stories in for when you are with your friends. This is crucial in finding relief from the judgment.

Smile and nod

So as the night goes on and your buzz grows stronger, you have the need to smoke a lot more cigarettes than you normally would. Of course your non smoking family will have a comment to make every time you head for the door. Just remember to smile and nod. My dad likes to call me a chimney, meaning I smoke too much. I just smile and nod and humor them because I know in two seconds my lips will be wrapped around the cigarette. And for those mere five minutes all the other stuff is just background noise.

Help clean

Who can get mad at you or have something negative to say while your cleaning? You see your mom headed for the kitchen with a dish, quickly grab it from her and say, "No let me. You have enough on your plate." This will help score you some brownie points and secure you to have very slim to no arguing for the evening. I understand being intoxicated may hinder your abillity to clean. But starting hot soapy water and rinsing dishes should not be an issue.

Bring gifts from the heart

Bring something sentimental for the parents, a picture from their wedding you had restored, pictures of the grandbabies, or a picture of you and your sisters when you were little. Prints are cheap at most drug stores or online, and you can get an 8X10 frame at the dollar store! Parents love pictures and wall decor for their home. Do not cop out and get a wall plaque that says "Best mom ever" Because then you are just being a brown noser. Give them something that is from the heart and that they can be proud to hang in their home. Not only that but this could help you in the future as well. Your mom may be mad at you one day in to the next year, and walking through her house and see the meaningful picture you gave her and smile when she thinks of you because you did that for her. You can't be all bad right?

Give hugs

Hug everyone before you get too drunk. This may be the last time you get to hug them, the last holiday you will ever spend with them. No one is promised the next breath they breathe. You only get one mother and one father. Parents aren’t perfect either they are only human. Sometimes they can be too much and you may feel as if they are too hard on you and only you. I have felt this way my entire life. But as I get older, I know that they are doing their best and doing their job as a parent. I know that they love me and just want what’s best for me. I just didn’t turn out quite like they planned. But that’s ok because you only get one life too. And I am doing what makes me happy. So I can love them as my parents but still live my life like I choose. One day none of these trivial things will matter anymore. Time will start running out one day and you will look back on your life. How do you want to remember your life and time spent when that day comes? Just make the best of every situation, love them for who they are even if they don’t agree with your lifestyle. Because one day that will be all you have left of them. One day you will wish you would have spent this time wisely, because one day you will learn the hard way that our parents won't be here for ever. Make a memory today as tomorrow is not guaranteed.