It is a tough world out there, and I have just recently learned that you cannot go through life alone.
I tend to push people away by over exaggerating or completely ghosting them for days. Sometimes it's both. This, I know, is not exactly healthy behavioral habits, but the people that have stuck through the bad times are irreplaceable.
As I continue to grow into the person I am meant to be (which I am still figuring out by the way), I need a support system of people in my life that will be there unconditionally. Friends and family that want me to succeed. Support comes with reassurance and a little bit of positivity.
However, support does NOT come with hypocritical or toxic behavior. Support does not include constant put downs and manipulation. This behavior will no longer be accepted in my life. I will only move past negative attitudes and results.
I found out that lately I need to focus solely on myself, as I should be my biggest supporter. Not only do I need a support system, but I mainly need to learn how to support myself in ways other cannot. I need to become less dependable overall. I need to learn how to put myself first. I need to learn how to say no every once in a while, and I need to learn how to actually take care of myself, both physically and mentally.
Life is tough, but it is especially tough with an absence of love for yourself and the ones around you. Learning to have a more positive outlook on life will be a big change in my life.
Changing your outlook definitely takes time, so I am going to take it one day at a time and figure out what I appreciate and what I absolutely love about my life.