Before you write this article off as crazy and illogical, hear me out. Something about these two widely watched televised events attract large crowds and many applicants. Sure it might be harder to get in the Olympics than on "The Bachelor," but to be fair, the Olympics doesn't happen as often as the Bachelor. Why are they so similar? Is the Bachelor trying to replace the Olympics? Disclaimer: this article should in no way be taken as a joke. The author of this article regards satire as a despicable form of journalism and considers this piece to be quite serious.
1. Exotic Locations
Athens, London, Rio. Thailand, Malibu, Buenos Aires.
2. Formal Ceremonies
The opening ceremony of the Olympics is elaborate and long. What is even longer and more elaborate? The final rose ceremony on the Bachelor.
3. Intense Competition
Winning pride for your country versus winning a bride for yourself: who can really tell the difference? All you have to do is switch one letter.
4. Steroid Usage
You can't convince me that Chad Johnson was never on steroids.
5. Attractive Competitors
I think the Olympians and the Bachelorette contestants have all been drinking the same water. And that water must be some powerful stuff!
6. Exciting Events
Watching men play football in an attempt to woo a girl is even more enthralling than watching impressive displays of athleticism and hard work.
7. Crazy Scandals
Tonya Harding's name is almost as recognizable as Chad Johnson.
8. Physical Prowess
Doing pull-ups while adding the weight of protein powder-filled luggage could be an Olympic sport.
9. "Being there for the wrong reasons"
(Cough, cough) Russia. (Cough, cough) Juan Pablo.
10. Awards
11. Judging
Is it really just a conspiracy? I think not.
